Parenting
Today began like any ordinary day. I woke up feeling neutral—not overly energetic, but not in a foul mood either. There were no pressing deadlines at work, my kids were at home, cheerful and healthy. We were on schedule, nothing was spilled, and I managed to avoid slipping on the icy driveway. Our dog was safe, all appliances were functioning, and my jeans were comfortably fitted. The fridge was stocked, and I had not run out of essentials like milk or toilet paper.
This should have been a perfect day. Yet, something felt off.
I attempted to rationalize my irritability. After all, I wasn’t dealing with PMS—thankfully, that had passed a few weeks ago. My sleep and eating habits were stable. I ought to have felt content, but instead, I felt restless and uneasy, spending the morning trying to understand what was bothering me.
Thinking a caffeine boost might help, I brewed a cup and even paid for the person behind me in line—an act of kindness that usually lifts my spirits. I called my friend to chat about her new home project, believing that focusing on someone else’s life could help me gain perspective on my own.
Despite my efforts, frustration simmered beneath the surface. I couldn’t help but feel annoyed at myself, my tension mounting with every little thing around me. The television volume felt unbearable, and instead of calmly asking my son to lower it, I snapped at him, claiming I was on the brink of losing it.
And I was. The noise felt like it was drilling into my skull, but even after he turned it down, my mood didn’t improve. I rested my head in my hands, struggling to breathe. I could sense that a meltdown was imminent, and I couldn’t pinpoint the reason. I just knew that my emotions were overwhelming, and it seemed like nothing could go right—not even for me.
In hindsight, it’s easy to think that self-control was within reach. After all, I have a warm home and a relatively stress-free life. I reminded myself, “My kids are healthy; many parents face far worse.” Yet, that only intensified my guilt. I felt like a selfish person for feeling this way.
No matter what I told myself, I remained stuck in that mood. Eventually, the dam broke. I can’t recall what triggered it, but I know it was something trivial—something that wouldn’t usually provoke such a reaction.
As parents, we often feel tightly wound, and it only takes a small incident to send us spiraling. We inch closer to the edge, and even though we want to maintain composure, we inevitably lose it. Then, we chastise ourselves for not understanding our feelings.
Interestingly, sometimes losing our cool can lead to recovery from a rough day. It’s as if we need that release valve to keep functioning. Perhaps it stems from carrying a heavy burden without sufficient breaks. As parents, even when we take breaks, our minds race with tasks, worries, and responsibilities. We may physically escape, but mentally, we remain tethered.
There’s this unidentifiable anger that creeps up on us, leaving us questioning its source. We might even fantasize about throwing a jar of pickles through a window—an impulse we can’t quite explain.
And so, we lose it. Just as I did today, just as I have before, and will again in the future. This is a shared experience among parents. It’s unavoidable. There will be moments when we react disproportionately to minor annoyances, and later, when we’re back to ourselves, we realize that our outburst was likely rooted in deeper feelings. No one truly wants to lash out over something as trivial as a loud TV. We explode because we’re stretched too thin, overwhelmed, or have neglected our own needs for too long.
And that’s perfectly acceptable. The key is to forgive ourselves, move forward, and strive to do better.
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Summary:
It’s normal for parents to feel overwhelmed and lose their temper, even without clear reasons. The pressures of parenting can lead to unexpected emotional outbursts, often rooted in deeper feelings. Acknowledging these moments and forgiving ourselves is essential for maintaining our well-being.