For as long as I can remember, the moment I wake up, my mind kicks into overdrive. My mental checklist of tasks assaults me before I even notice the beauty of the morning. This relentless cycle is automatic, leaving little room for me to savor the moment or clear the morning fog from my mind. Each day, despite my best efforts, anxiety slips in, determined to consume my peace before breakfast.
I find myself running my fingers through my hair, twisting and twirling it as a means to channel my nervous energy. It’s a habit I’ve had since childhood. I used to bite my nails, too, and later resorted to sneaking cigarettes in the shadows, all while my mind raced ahead to my next obligation.
Living with high-functioning anxiety means your nervous energy can either freeze you in place or propel you into action. When it does kick in, you become a force to be reckoned with, getting things done while others assume you have it all figured out. The truth is, sitting still is often unbearable; thus, you keep moving. The concept of relaxation feels foreign.
I, like countless others coping with high-functioning anxiety, navigate this daily ritual. It’s uncomfortable, yet if you endure these feelings often enough, you become strangely accustomed to discomfort. It’s estimated that around 18% of adults experience some form of anxiety. You might present a calm facade, but beneath lies a constant search for improvement. You become adept at dissecting your flaws and using those insights to fuel your progress. On the outside, you seem productive and motivated, but exhaustion simmers just beneath the surface. The duality can feel both rewarding and draining.
If you resonate with thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “I should try harder,” or “How can I improve this?” yet still manage to push forward, you are resilient. You navigate through your mental maze quite adeptly. You recognize that these negative thoughts often lack truth, even if their weight feels overwhelming. This self-awareness equips you to discern the insincerity in others—a unique superpower, if you will.
You instinctively uplift those around you, offering support to loved ones who may be struggling with similar feelings, because you live with this reality each day. You understand that emotions are valid; dismissing feelings with platitudes like “Just get over it” or “Don’t be so sensitive” doesn’t help. You empathize with others, even as you grapple with your own struggles.
Putting on a brave face when necessary is a skill you’ve mastered, but expressing your feelings openly can provide relief from the dark corners of your mind. You have a strong desire to overcome these feelings.
Often, you encounter phrases like “Don’t let it bother you,” or “Just calm down,” and you tire of hearing these comments from those who don’t understand your battle. You wish you could change certain aspects of yourself, but it’s not a straightforward task. You’ve tried; instead, you choose to embrace your unique offerings, knowing they are substantial.
Throughout life, you discover that activities like exercise, hobbies, or socializing can help alleviate some of your anxiety. You stay busy and engaged.
When anxiety strikes, you become more attuned to your needs. You quickly identify triggers and know what situations or people make you uncomfortable. You’re unafraid to say no, step away from negativity, or ask for what you require. This is your strength.
You’re accustomed to pushing through daily challenges posed by anxiety, so when thoughts like “I can’t do this today” arise, remind yourself that you absolutely can. You’ve done it before. You are a formidable force, deserving of a fulfilling life.
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In summary, high-functioning anxiety is a complex experience that intertwines productivity with emotional struggle. It’s a journey of self-awareness, resilience, and the pursuit of balance amidst the chaos.