In a powerful series of side-by-side images, one mom illustrates the stark contrast of postpartum depression—showing how it can appear that everything is fine on the surface, even when deep down, that’s far from the truth.
Jessica Harper, a labor doula and childbirth educator, has bravely opened up about her own battle with postpartum depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. In a recent Facebook post that has gained considerable traction, she challenged her audience to confront the discomfort that society often imposes on discussions about postpartum mental health.
“Many of you might be feeling uneasy right now (trust me, I am too). But I encourage you to push through that discomfort,” she wrote. It’s a common expectation that when we meet new mothers, they’ll share joyful tales of their newborn experiences, even if reality is quite different.
Jessica shared one image of herself in a messy living space, looking like an exhausted mom with her hair tied up, cozy clothes on, and children demanding her attention. She labeled this photo as “not social media worthy.” In contrast, the second image shows her dressed impeccably, in a tidy playroom, beaming with a bright smile. Both photos were snapped by her friend, Lisa, who has also faced postpartum depression.
“The reality is, both these images depict my life on different days. I’ve only ever felt comfortable sharing one of these versions, and that’s part of the problem,” Jessica stated. She highlighted the tendency for women to only present their polished lives on social media—an image that can easily be fabricated for a moment, but often obscures the truth.
Jessica explained, “The only thing more draining than battling these conditions is the pretense of pretending they don’t exist. I exert so much energy to conceal this truth from you because I fear your judgment—thinking I’m weak, irrational, or somehow a terrible mother. These are thoughts I know I am not alone in having.”
She noted that approximately one in seven mothers experiences postpartum mental illness, emphasizing the urgent need to shift how we talk to new parents. “Instead of the usual, ‘How are you?’ which often elicits a reflexive, ‘Everything’s great!’ response, we must engage in more meaningful conversations. It’s vital to recognize the signs, symptoms, and support systems for postpartum conditions.”
In a recent discussion, Jessica expressed her surprise at the overwhelming response to her post. “It breaks our hearts to see so many mothers resonate with our message, yet we’re grateful to know we’re not isolated in this struggle.” She mentioned receiving numerous messages from mothers who have sought help or recognized their own experiences through her words. “Our goal was to reach even one person to remind them they are not alone, and we’re so thankful for the impact it has had.”
Jessica concluded her message with a reminder for all mothers: “In case no one has said it today, you’re doing an incredible job. You are loved and worthy. You’re not alone.” She encouraged new parents to seek help when necessary, asserting, “I know how incredibly difficult it is to reach out, but I assure you it is worth it. YOU are worth it.”
If you or someone you know is grappling with postpartum mental illness, consider resources like Postpartum Support International or Postpartum Help Alliance. For those interested in starting their family journey, check out our post on at-home insemination kits at Make a Mom. Additionally, for comprehensive insights into pregnancy, visit Modern Family Blog or explore Cleveland Clinic’s information on intrauterine insemination for further support.
In summary, Jessica’s photo comparison serves as a powerful reminder of the complexities of postpartum mental health. By sharing her truth, she not only breaks the stigma but also encourages other mothers to embrace their reality and seek the support they need.