5 Comments I Regret Saying to My Partner After Our First Child

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Having my first child nearly eight years ago at the age of 24 was an overwhelming experience. I was young, anxious, and utterly clueless, which led me to make some regrettable remarks to my partner. I want to reflect on those moments in hopes that other new dads can gain insight from my blunders.

  1. So, when can we get back to intimacy?
    Oh, the nerve! Your partner just endured major surgery to bring a tiny human into the world, and you’re worried about your desires? Remember, she just went through an incredible physical ordeal. Instead of focusing on your needs, consider giving her the time and space to heal. She deserves it after everything her body has gone through.
  2. When are we going to hit the gym again?
    Nice try, but using “we” instead of “you” doesn’t disguise the implication. Your partner is likely hearing, “You need to shed that baby weight.” By bringing this up, you’re only reinforcing the insecurities many women feel post-pregnancy. You fell in love with her for more than just her appearance. So, give her the grace to adjust to her new reality without the added pressure.
  3. I’m exhausted.
    Sure, parenting is tiring for both of you. But expressing your fatigue might make your partner feel obligated to comfort you or help you rest. That’s not her responsibility right now. While you’re both navigating this new chapter, remember that she’s working hard to recover and care for your newborn. Instead of complaining about your tiredness, focus on supporting her.
  4. Do I really have to change the baby’s diaper?
    Absolutely! Welcome to fatherhood—this is a team effort. Don’t pass off diaper duty to your partner. Embrace the opportunity to bond with your baby while taking an active role in parenting. Changing diapers isn’t just a chore; it’s a chance to be a hands-on dad and support your partner.
  5. Three months off work? Sounds like a vacation!
    No, it’s not a vacation. It’s a crucial time for your partner to recover and bond with your baby. Instead of viewing her maternity leave as a break, understand that it’s essential for her to heal and connect. What you might really be feeling is the frustration of not having paternity leave yourself, which is something worth discussing rather than projecting onto her.

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Summary

Reflecting on my early parenting days, I recognize how my words could hurt my partner at a time when she needed support. I hope new fathers can learn from my mistakes and approach this journey with empathy and understanding.

Keyphrase: Regrets of New Fathers

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