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In my mid-40s, conversations with peers often revolve around two main topics: our children and our aging parents. While witnessing our kids grow up brings a mix of joy and sadness, observing our parents age can be especially challenging, particularly when a loved one is diagnosed with dementia.
Dementia, which can arise from conditions such as stroke, traumatic brain injury, or Alzheimer’s disease, affects approximately 55 million people globally—a number projected to reach 78 million by 2030 and 139 million by 2050. As Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, the director-general of the WHO, stated, “Dementia takes away memories, independence, and dignity from millions, impacting not only those living with it but also their loved ones.”
In the United States, over 16 million caregivers dedicate more than 17 billion hours annually to support family and friends with Alzheimer’s and related dementias. The CDC notes that about two-thirds of these caregivers are women, many of whom belong to the “sandwich generation,” juggling responsibilities for their own children and aging parents.
Given the growing prevalence of dementia, a shift in our approach to caregiving is essential. One individual making strides in this area is Dr. Emily Parker, an occupational therapist focused on dementia education and care. Her engaging TikTok videos provide invaluable insights for those involved with dementia patients, from clarifying the distinction between dementia and Alzheimer’s to offering practical tips for daily interactions.
Dr. Parker’s trademarked “Hand-under-Hand®” technique exemplifies her innovative approach. This method involves holding the caregiver’s hand underneath that of the person with dementia, allowing for gentle support while facilitating tasks like dressing or eating. This technique fosters a sense of empowerment for the individual with dementia, making them feel more involved rather than passive recipients of care.
Having been deeply touched by Dr. Parker’s videos, I often find myself reflecting on my own experiences with my father, who has been battling Alzheimer’s for years. I’ve stumbled in various situations but am eager to learn and improve.
For those of us in the sandwich generation, Dr. Parker offers practical advice on discussing dementia with children. She suggests first assessing if the child has noticed any changes in the affected loved one. If they have, validating their feelings and relating them to their own experiences can be helpful. For example, if a child observes their grandparent forgetting names, you could explain that the grandparent’s brain is struggling with memory, much like how kids sometimes forget to pick up their toys.
When dealing with moments like my dad calling me by my mom’s name, Dr. Parker recommends responding playfully, acknowledging the resemblance, and gently reminding him of my name instead of correcting him repeatedly, which could lead to frustration.
Engaging with loved ones who have advanced dementia can be enhanced through shared activities such as listening to music, looking at photos, or simply being present. Dr. Parker emphasizes the importance of using a deeper voice for communication, which can foster connection without creating stress.
For caregivers, self-care is paramount. Dr. Parker reminds us that we cannot effectively support others if we do not tend to our own well-being. Building a support network is crucial; it’s never too early to assemble a care team of family, friends, and professionals.
As Dr. Parker wisely puts it, “Caring for someone with dementia is often a marathon, and it shouldn’t be a solitary journey.”
For more insights, you can explore this blog post or learn about home insemination resources through Make a Mom. Additionally, the CDC provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.