As I sit here in the early hours before dawn, the house is still shrouded in darkness, save for my husband, who has already been working for two hours. I’d probably prefer a bit more sleep if his alarm didn’t jolt me awake at the crack of dawn, a daily ritual six mornings a week (he’d even consider Sundays if I didn’t put my foot down). He believes it’s better to leave for work while everyone is still asleep than to miss our evening time together by clocking out late.
I occasionally suggest he doesn’t need to put in 12-hour days, but he thinks I’m joking; for him, anything less isn’t an option. Yes, I’m married to a true workaholic. Even if we were financially secure (which we’re not), he’d still feel the need to work. I often worry about the day he finally retires—will he be able to handle the boredom? I suspect he’d rather be working at 99, cane in hand, bossing around young employees, than ever consider a day of relaxation at home. It’s simply not in his nature.
This relentless work ethic creates challenges for us at times. With him often absent, I take charge of everything from mundane household chores to the chaotic moments when our four kids are all sick, our cat sets his tail ablaze, and the roof starts leaking. He does his best to help from a distance, making calls to roofing companies while I’m left managing the practical aspects of our home—catching drips and washing drenched towels.
I’m the one navigating the daily grind that keeps our household running smoothly, and it can be exhausting. Did I mention we have four little ones? However, it’s not just the workload that weighs on me; it’s the family moments he misses. On Saturday mornings, you’ll find me cheering for our kids at their basketball games, all while their dad is absent. Sometimes, he makes a quick drive from work to catch halftime, sporting his company logo, but I know he’s glued to his phone, always worried about missing work notifications.
He makes sporadic appearances at school events, juggling his commitments between work and family. Recently, while scheduling a routine surgery for our youngest, I had to text him to ensure he could attend before finalizing the date. He could make it, but only after agreeing to go in earlier that day—typical.
Our children know how proud he is of them, and he always ensures they feel supported. Despite how it may seem, our arrangement works for us. My bigger concern is for my husband—will he look back one day and regret the time spent away from us? Will he come to realize he devoted his life to the wrong priorities and lament those precious moments?
Yet, when I observe his enthusiasm and commitment to his job, I see a man who is truly chasing his passion. Nothing that brings someone such joy can be considered wrong. For him, providing our children with opportunities we never had growing up is worth the sacrifices he makes.
His relentless spirit is what initially drew me to him two decades ago. To try and change that would be to stifle the very essence of who he is. Sure, I sometimes wish we could plan a spontaneous outing without his work constraints or that he could lend a hand more often at home, but in the grand scheme of partnerships, our situation is manageable.
After all, while I may struggle to lure him to the couch beside me, it’s certainly better than trying to pry him off of it. If you’re navigating similar challenges, consider checking out Modern Family Blog for insightful tips and support.
In conclusion, while being married to a workaholic may present its hurdles, it also offers a unique dynamic that can foster strength and resilience in both partners.