One evening, as we were settling the kids down for bed with the windows wide open, I found myself delivering a somewhat animated talk about the importance of listening. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and my heart sank. My immediate reaction was, “Oh no, what did they overhear?” The friendly elderly couple at the door greeted me with smiles, and before I could stop myself, I blurted out, “Did you hear me giving my kids a lecture?” Their amused expressions reminded me of parents who have weathered the storms of child-rearing, and they chuckled, “No, did they need a lecture?” I laughed nervously while my husband probably wished he could disappear. Our kids stood there in their pajamas, still damp from their baths, clearly bewildered.
I want to assure you, I am a wonderful mom. I truly am. I just happen to raise my voice a bit now and then.
From the time I was a young girl, I promised myself I would never be the type of mom who yelled. But the truth is, childhood promises often lack the understanding of real-life parenting. Moreover, anyone who hasn’t experienced parenting firsthand really can’t critique my methods or my occasional loud moments.
Children have a unique ability to test your limits in ways you never anticipated. And for those moms who claim they never raise their voices—well, I suspect they might have a different genetic makeup than I do. I can imagine they struggle in other areas, such as embracing their kids’ silly fart jokes or spontaneously breaking into dance parties after dinner (two things I excel at, by the way).
So, let me clarify: I am a great mom. It’s just that, sometimes, kids drive me a little more bonkers than I anticipated. Although I’ve made considerable progress over the 11 years of being a parent and have implemented various strategies to reduce my yelling, it still happens.
To the woman giving me disapproving looks in the grocery store parking lot while I’m urging my 3-year-old to buckle his seatbelt, I promise I’m a good mom. What you didn’t witness was the two minutes he spent staring off into space while I patiently waited for him to respond. When he finally did, it was as if time was moving at a sloth’s pace, and I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes in that moment. So yes, I may have lost it a little.
I assure you, I adore my children and am striving to break this habit.
To the neighbor who hears me raising my voice because my kids are too busy dancing in front of the mirror to remember brushing their teeth, I want you to know I’m a great mom. I just yell a little because their attention spans resemble those of woodland creatures.
And to the random customer service representative on the phone who hears me telling my child to be quiet before I lose my mind—just know that I’m a caring mom. They simply don’t allow me to talk on the phone without interruptions.
I can honestly say I’ve reduced my yelling significantly. Setting goals as a mom is important, and I understand that constant yelling can be harmful—I’m aware. That’s why I’m diligently working to stop. I’ve learned to apologize sincerely and recognize that breaking bad habits takes time. Furthermore, a single outburst when they’re going to be late for school isn’t going to ruin anyone’s life.
I embrace my imperfections. I acknowledge that I occasionally yell. Just know that I’m a good mom, and I likely have a valid reason for my outbursts.
I’m continually working on my goal to be a mom who doesn’t raise her voice, but I refuse to stop being the mom who laughs at fart jokes during dinner.
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In summary, I may yell occasionally, but I’m still a loving and dedicated mom, striving to improve every day.