Updated: Dec. 13, 2019
Originally Published: Feb. 24, 2018
For over a decade, I’ve been immersed in the whirlwind of parenting. With three children, there was always a baby, a toddler, or sometimes even two of each. It’s no surprise that my sense of self, my “mojo,” slipped away during those busy years. Regaining that spark felt like an insurmountable challenge.
Before our lives revolved around kids, my husband and I cherished our Saturday mornings. We would sleep in (remember those leisurely weekends?), enjoy breakfast, hit the gym, grab artisanal coffees, run errands, and tackle chores—often punctuated by some satisfying intimacy around noon. Those moments of connection were blissful, and I deeply miss them.
Ironically, even during our youthful days, I was never a fan of morning sex. My husband would suggest it, and I’d cringe at the thought. My breath, his breath, the urgent need to use the bathroom, the mess in the kitchen—it all felt like too much to handle before I was fully awake. I’d get caught up in my thoughts about the day ahead, which pushed any intimate moments to the later part of the day—hence the Saturday afternoon rendezvous.
Then, everything changed when children entered the picture. Transitioning from frequent intimate moments to almost none was jarring. I was overwhelmed, exhausted, and often felt like a shadow of myself. Despite that, we somehow managed to add to our family. But those moments were far from the carefree days of weekend fun.
Now, with our children aged 12, 10, and 7, life has shifted again. Thankfully, they allow us to sleep in on weekends—at least until they start squabbling over video games or the last slice of pizza. More often than not, they can entertain themselves, granting us some much-needed privacy.
Recently, an opportunity arose when my husband and I found ourselves in bed on a Saturday morning, listening to the kids play downstairs. He glanced at me with a playful look, and suddenly all my previous reservations vanished. Who cared about bad breath or the dishes piled in the sink? The kitchen mess would still be there later. This moment was too precious to let slip away.
Much to my husband’s surprise, I jumped out of bed, locked the door, and we shared a spontaneous moment of morning intimacy. The kids were awake just a floor below, but I was surprisingly relaxed. I didn’t worry about potential chaos or feel self-conscious about my unkempt appearance. It was a blissful 10 (or maybe 20?) minutes of pure, uninterrupted connection.
Why had I resisted this for so long? I’ve missed Saturdays and, more importantly, my husband. Now that we’re in our 40s—perhaps a bit rounder and jiggly than we once were—we’re rediscovering each other in wonderful ways, sometimes even between 8 a.m. and noon on Saturdays.
I regret that it took me so long to appreciate the joys of morning intimacy, but I’m eager to embrace the next chapter with fewer inhibitions and more spontaneity. So, to my fellow moms feeling overwhelmed and unsexy, hang in there. I’ve walked that path, and it does get better. While the youthful version of you may feel absent, there’s room for a new you—Sexy Mama is ready to shine.
If you’re contemplating starting or expanding your family, check out this in-depth article on home insemination kits for additional insights. For expert resources on fertility, visit Hopkins Medicine’s fertility center. For more on embracing motherhood and intimacy, visit Modern Family Blog.
Summary
This article explores how a busy parenting lifestyle can diminish intimacy in relationships, but highlights how rediscovering morning sex can reignite that connection. It offers encouragement to parents struggling with their sense of self and intimacy, sharing the transformative power of spontaneity and communication in rekindling romance.