By: Alex Johnson
Updated: Jan. 15, 2018
Originally Published: Dec. 30, 2016
Eight years ago, I found myself with my toddler, waiting for my older kids to be released from school. This time was always difficult for me. My little one would act out, not understanding why he couldn’t run and yell in the quiet hallway. It seemed unfair to him, and I often empathized with his frustration.
“You need to be quiet and patient. The other children are still learning,” I would remind him. This became a daily struggle. While he rarely spoke back, he constantly tested my limits, and every day felt like a marathon of trying to control his behavior in what seemed like an eternity.
However, one day he surprised me by voicing his feelings. Instead of his typical antics, he looked at me and declared, “Mommy, I don’t like you.” Such audacity from a small child! Though he was just a toddler, I couldn’t help but feel anger rise within me.
“Well, Mommy doesn’t like you either when you talk like that and don’t listen. I expect you to behave,” I responded firmly. He paused, taken aback by my words. Some might see this as too harsh, but I simply cannot stand backtalk. It infuriates me. That incident marked a shift in his behavior during pickup times; it seemed my stern response had a significant impact.
Fast forward eight years, and I was in the kitchen, exasperatedly telling my son, “If you’re going to say something rude, just don’t say it at all.” I wondered if my children even understood the gravity of my words, especially when I was practically hissing them out of frustration.
I have zero patience for my kids speaking to me or anyone else with disrespect. They know better. My approach is straightforward: I get upset and let them know it. It’s my way of giving them a taste of their own medicine.
I firmly believe that we teach others how to treat us. While people may not always be kind, they generally understand what they can get away with regarding our boundaries. This principle applies to our children as well.
I’ve tried ignoring their disrespectful behavior, but it has proven ineffective. They interpret my silence as permission to continue their antics. This is especially true when we’re in public; ignoring their sass only leads to chaos. Consequently, I have to address their behavior publicly, even if it means getting close and raising my voice.
My kids are aware that their treatment of me will determine how I respond to them. While this sometimes attracts disapproving glances from others, I would rather be judged for disciplining my children than for allowing them to speak to me or others disrespectfully. Respect must be mutual.
Their punishments often involve me transforming into a strict parent, promptly taking away privileges. In the past, this included desserts, playdates, and favorite toys. Now, it typically involves their screen time, particularly their cherished cell phones.
I have specific triggers, and they know what they are. If they speak to me in a certain tone or interrupt me, their phones are confiscated for a day or two—no exceptions. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I’m asking them to do something they already know about, and they interrupt me with, “I know, Mom!” That interruption can lead to a week without their phones.
I won’t deny that it’s incredibly challenging to uphold these standards week after week. There are times when I regret my decisions and feel tempted to return their phones, especially if they seem to have learned their lesson. However, I usually resist, even in the face of heartfelt apologies.
Though some adults have remarked that I might be too strict, my children continue to test the boundaries of backtalk. They are human, after all, prone to frustration and rebellion. I recognize that they are simply navigating their own limits.
This ongoing challenge will likely persist until they leave home. In a way, I understand their struggles. I, too, can be short-tempered and lash out when asked to complete mundane tasks. However, I see this as an integral aspect of motherhood, and I’m committed to maintaining this standard.
For additional insights into parenting techniques, consider exploring this excellent resource on home insemination and more about pregnancy.
Summary
The author reflects on their strict approach to parenting, particularly regarding disrespectful behavior from their children. They emphasize the importance of mutual respect, the challenges of discipline, and their commitment to maintaining high standards in their children’s communication.
Keyphrase: parenting discipline
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]