As someone who grew up in the 80s, I find myself at a cultural crossroads. While I should be able to seamlessly quote iconic movies like The Princess Bride or recognize the Brat Pack, my family’s lack of cable and limited trips to the theater left me out of the loop. Shockingly, I only figured out that the talented Carrie Fisher was the actress behind Princess Leia a mere six years ago, having not seen Star Wars until then. And don’t even get me started on the Brat Pack—I’m still in the dark about that.
However, it’s worth noting that many of these beloved films we idolize from our childhoods might not be as great as we remember. Sure, Carrie Fisher is a legendary figure and Star Wars truly is a masterpiece, but some of the other classics? Let’s just say they leave much to be desired. While I might be stepping on some toes with this list, here are seven cult classics that, upon closer inspection, are actually kind of terrible.
1. Jaws
I recently watched this film with my kids, and I was concerned it might frighten my younger one. But honestly, the special effects are so cringe-worthy that it’s hard to take the horror seriously. Is this supposed to be scary or unintentionally funny? I’m still confused.
2. Rocky
As someone who doesn’t follow boxing, I probably should have anticipated my lack of enthusiasm for this film. Even if you appreciate the “underdog” storyline, the movie is riddled with glaring issues, particularly in Rocky’s treatment of Adrian. After a few minutes, I found myself explaining the importance of consent and respect to my kids—seriously, when Adrian expresses discomfort, Rocky should have respected her wishes. Remember, no means no!
3. E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial
Before anyone floods my inbox with outrage over my take on E.T., let me clarify: I don’t think it’s outright terrible, but it certainly doesn’t deserve the pedestal it’s often placed on. I didn’t feel a single tear—despite being an emotional person—and I was left with numerous questions. For instance, how did the kids’ mom not notice an alien living in their home?!
4. The Princess Bride
I’ll concede that this film has its share of humor, but let’s talk about Princess Buttercup—arguably one of the most frustrating characters ever. While Inigo is undeniably entertaining, why do all the noteworthy characters happen to be male? The female role in this story feels utterly useless, making it challenging to watch with my sons without launching into a lecture.
5. A Christmas Story
Where do I even begin with this one? The plot is slow, the humor feels flat, and it’s littered with outdated stereotypes and questionable parenting tactics. My kids were baffled, especially by the soap-in-the-mouth scene—“Why would a parent do that?” They asked, and I had no good answer.
6. Gremlins
Let’s just say that this movie gave me nightmares for years to come. It’s a wild concept, sure, but the execution left much to be desired.
7. Grease
This classic opens with a song that seems to glamorize date rape, asking, “Tell me more, tell me more, did she put up a fight?” Seriously? The film is riddled with problematic themes, from slut-shaming to patriarchal norms, making it quite the dumpster fire of a movie experience.
Before you label me as someone who can’t appreciate the nuances of 80s pop culture, I do genuinely cherish several timeless classics from that era, like Star Wars (Carrie Fisher remains a true icon), Stand By Me, and Dirty Dancing (#BestMovieEver). And while I’ve yet to dive into Indiana Jones, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, or Heathers (I admit my childhood was a bit sheltered), I’m reserving my judgment on those.
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Summary:
This article critiques seven cult classics from the 80s, highlighting their flaws and discussing how they may not hold up to modern scrutiny. Despite the nostalgia surrounding these films, it’s clear that some of them possess problematic themes and outdated portrayals that warrant a second look.