While most kids in the ’80s reveled in vibrant colors, penny loafers, and pastel cardigans, I—a self-identified goth enthusiast—preferred to envelop myself in black. Captivated by the likes of Bela Lugosi and Peter Murphy, I dodged bubble-gum pop music and cheerleading squads. Deeply introspective and emotionally attuned, I craved music with depth and the solitude of quiet spaces to absorb it, away from the bemused glances of my classmates.
Fast forward over twenty-five years, and I still embrace my oddity. The main difference now is that as an adult, I dictate my own wardrobe choices. Consequently, I unapologetically adorn myself in black and continue to swoon over vampires, just as I did in high school. Not long ago, I found myself swept up in the Twilight craze alongside countless teens—until I saw the films. The preppy vampires were almost offensive; my mental imagery was more in line with the cast of The Lost Boys, not Sixteen Candles.
Speaking of ’80s films and persistent sentiments, certain iconic scenes still irk me—like those in The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink. If you were a dark wave kid back then, I needn’t elaborate. But for those who rooted for the popular characters, here’s the scoop: Claire transformed Allison—a perfectly introverted, black-clad wallflower—into the girl next door, while Andie chose Blane over Duckie. That reality still prompts an involuntary shake of my head. I’ll never move past that.
In fact, my lingering frustration is partly responsible for my absence at numerous ’80s-themed gatherings. I know traditional ’80s tribute events are brimming with bright colors, banana clips, and songs like “Safety Dance.” Unfortunately, that’s worlds away from my own experience, and much like the parties in the ’80s, I still don’t feel inclined to attend.
It’s not that I don’t wish to reflect. I do so daily, gazing at the framed poster of The Cure on my wall. But it’s awkward for everyone involved. Even the DJ senses the tension when I approach him to request a song by The Sisters of Mercy, a band unlikely to feature on his ’80s Dance Party playlist. Even if he has access to the songs I loved, he fears a disastrous crowd response, perhaps akin to the live spectacle of Debbie Gibson covering “This Corrosion.”
Regarding music, I can’t help but chuckle when people attempt to connect with me by saying they enjoy The Cure. While their effort and knowledge of “that one song” is amusing, I remain skeptical, unless I witness them belting out “Torture” at karaoke instead of the more popular “Friday I’m in Love.” Until I see that, it’s as laughable now as it was back then, just like the persistent mix-up of Susie and the Banshees.
It’s not that I’m stuck in the past; for me, the dark aesthetic of the ’80s was more of a feeling than merely a decade, and it has never really left me. Clearly, I’m not the only one with a fondness for all things dark and mysterious. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be captivating roles for actors like Winona Ryder, Helena Bonham Carter, or Johnny Depp, who will forever be etched in my mind as Edward Scissorhands.
In truth, I owe this extended fascination with ’80s goth culture to Tim Burton—my version of John Hughes. Without him and places like Hot Topic, I might feel as isolated and misunderstood as Lydia Deetz. Fortunately, he has shown me that I’m not as singular as I thought. It seems there are many of us out there, all grown up yet fundamentally unchanged, emerging from the woodwork to enjoy his latest dark creations.
Secretly, I revel in the notion that his films celebrate individuals like me, serving as a medium for a resurrected era known as the ’80s—an era characterized by a strange and unusual sentiment that still haunts me and influences my wardrobe today. Personally, I hope that feeling never fades.
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Summary:
Reflecting on a life spent embracing eccentricity, Tessa Morgan recounts her experiences as a goth girl in the ’80s, revealing how those feelings and preferences have remained with her into adulthood. Despite the passage of time, her passion for all things dark and mysterious persists, showcasing a unique perspective on nostalgia and the enduring influence of that era.
Keyphrase: “80s goth culture”
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