As I was wrapping up a long day, my nearly eight-year-old son, Ethan, threw a thought-provoking question my way: “Don’t you have to love yourself first?” His words resonated deeply, especially after a week where I had neglected my own needs.
“You always tell me that loving yourself is the most important thing,” he said, “So, you should be your own priority, right?” I cherish these enlightening moments when my child schools me on my own lessons, particularly when I realize I’ve been putting myself last in my daily routine.
“Of course, you should always prioritize self-love,” I responded, “but when you become a parent, everything shifts. I have to think about you first, and I genuinely want to.”
“But who thinks about you?” he pressed. At that moment, I felt like I was facing the wisdom of a mini philosopher. He has a knack for reminding me of my own advice when I least expect it, proving he’s always tuned in.
These conversations remind me of the importance of reinforcing self-care. Over recent months, I’ve strived to prioritize my health and happiness. I’ve dedicated time to preparing healthier meals and scheduling workouts without feeling guilty about taking time for myself. Listening to my body has become essential, and as a result, I’ve noticed a positive change in my role as a mother, partner, and individual.
Yet, I still struggle to make myself a priority amidst the chaos of daily life. I often find myself squeezing in workouts late at night and sacrificing sleep. I frequently cancel plans that could have given me a much-needed break. The challenge lies in explaining this to Ethan, as I want him to understand the importance of self-care without feeling guilty for prioritizing his own needs.
As a black boy growing up in today’s society, I feel it’s crucial for him to realize the significance of self-love. Failing to prioritize oneself can have serious ramifications, and loving yourself is vital for overall happiness. When you’re content within yourself, you’re better equipped to support others without compromising your own well-being. However, achieving this balance is an ongoing struggle, especially for a child whose focus is on friends and dreams of the NBA.
I aspire to be a positive role model for Ethan, demonstrating that self-love is essential. I hope he recognizes that I value my own needs while striving to ensure he enjoys a fulfilling life.
“Mom, you could go back to book club,” Ethan suggested out of the blue.
“Book club? I haven’t been to that for years!” I replied, surprised.
“I know. I missed you being out at night. But I heard Auntie Sarah say they’d love to have you back. I’m OK with you going now.”
It’s a reminder that my self-care journey will continue, even if it means late-night workouts or rejoining social activities after a prolonged absence.
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Summary
My young son Ethan taught me the importance of self-care and loving oneself. Despite the challenges of parenting and prioritizing his needs, it’s crucial to model self-love for him. Conversations reveal the necessity of balance in life, echoing the message that taking care of oneself enables us to better care for others.