Navigating the journey of motherhood can be incredibly challenging, especially for those dealing with postpartum depression (PPD). As someone who has battled depression and anxiety throughout my life, I was particularly susceptible to PPD after the births of my three children. Each experience was unique, from the postpartum anxiety that plagued me with my firstborn—where every sneeze and rash warranted a trip to the doctor—to the more subdued “Baby Blues” I faced with my second child, and finally, the overwhelming guilt and shame that enveloped me after my third.
One consistent thread during these times was the response I received from friends and family: “It’s just hormones. You’re so fortunate!” While I understand that these words came from a place of care, they stung each time I heard them.
Society often fails to recognize the humanity of new mothers. Statements like “I’m so exhausted” are often met with laughter and nostalgic remarks about how all mothers experience it. Unlike during pregnancy, when inquiries about feelings abound, new mothers are met with invasive questions about their bodies and are often judged for their choices and actions as if they are community property.
Postpartum depression feels akin to being engulfed in flames while also being told you’ve just won the lottery. Everyone around you is celebrating, and you feel pressured to be joyful, yet the reality is that you’re struggling. The clock ticks away while you feel exhausted, unkempt, and disconnected, watching your baby grow as you sit in your own emotional turmoil.
So, when engaging with a new mother, resist the urge to highlight her blessings. She is already acutely aware of them. Instead, focus on helping her reclaim her identity beyond just “Mother.” Offer her nourishment, lend a hand with the baby so she can take a moment to shower or rest. Remember, plants don’t celebrate their victories, and lampposts don’t count their fortunes. If you genuinely want to assist a new mom in reaching a place where she can embrace her new role, acknowledge her struggles and help her reconnect with her sense of self.
For additional insights on motherhood and support resources, consider checking out Modern Family Blog for expert advice. You might also find useful information on pregnancy and home insemination at Healthline, or explore options like the Cryobaby at-home insemination kit to assist in your journey.
In summary, when supporting mothers facing postpartum depression, it’s vital to acknowledge their pain and offer genuine help rather than simply pointing out their blessings.