Let’s be real, fellow moms: today, I completely dropped the ball. I’m in the throes of pregnancy, feeling drained and overly emotional. My 3-year-old son is both needy and headstrong, and I’ve reached my limit. I need a day off—a mental health day.
But we all know that such days are a myth in the motherhood realm. When our partners experience even the slightest ailment, they instantly transform into another child in the house. I find myself catering to their every whim, preparing tea and soup as if they’re the only ones who matter, while juggling peanut butter sandwiches and chocolate milk for my son. Because, naturally, their requests can never align.
When moms fall ill, however, the world keeps spinning. We could be battling a fever or chills, and yet, the demands keep coming. “Mom, I need this right now!” “Where are my keys?” (for the hundredth time) “No, I don’t want to wear those pants; I want the blue ones!!” (cue the dramatic meltdown.) Life doesn’t slow down; we’re expected to maintain our roles, no matter what.
But today? I’m standing firm. I’m exhausted, nursing a headache, and dealing with the hormonal rollercoaster of growing a tiny human while trying to corral a slightly larger one. My partner just handed me a list of upcoming work trips. Sigh.
So today, I’m choosing to focus on myself. I’m opting to lounge on the couch, binge-watching reruns of Gilmore Girls, rather than tackling the mountain of dishes in the sink. I allow myself to cry when a friend calls just to chat because I need to let out all the frustrations instead of pretending everything is fine. I even sit my son in front of the TV while I enjoy a long, uninterrupted shower.
Then I let him play on the iPad so I can write this and hopefully process my feelings. I decide to allow him chocolate milk all afternoon since I don’t want to fight over it. You want three fruit snacks for lunch? I can’t muster the energy to say no. Two glasses of lemonade? Go for it, buddy. He thinks it’s the greatest day ever, while I feel like the worst mom. Funny how perspective works.
Will my child suffer from a bit of extra sugar today? No. Will he be traumatized for watching three hours of TV instead of the recommended thirty minutes? Absolutely not. Will he turn into a spoiled brat because I let him have his way for an entire day? I sincerely hope not! But will he benefit from having an emotionally balanced mom? Definitely.
As mothers, we often struggle to carve out time for ourselves. Someone once asked me what I do daily to nurture my well-being, and I found it difficult to answer. It hit me then—when we pour everything into our children, partners, and families, we risk losing ourselves. That spiral leads to feelings of depression, bitterness, and resentment, which is not the role model I want to be for my son. I want to show him how to be strong, independent, and compassionate. To do that, I must embody those qualities myself.
It may feel strange to prioritize self-care, but I notice a significant difference when I do. I feel revitalized, confident, and energized, which translates into being a better mom, partner, and friend. Today I checked out, but moving forward, I want to check in with myself more regularly. Just as you go for medical check-ups to catch potential health issues, it’s essential to tend to your mental and emotional health proactively. It can be challenging and even feel selfish, but it’s crucial.
As we move forward into this new year, I challenge myself and all the moms out there to begin nurturing your own well-being. Start with once a week, then work your way up to daily self-care practices. I’m putting this challenge out there for accountability and hope it inspires others to do the same.
For more insights on family and parenting, check out this fantastic resource on nurturing family dynamics. If you’re considering options like home insemination, learn more about it at Make a Mom. You might also find helpful information on pregnancy and fertility at Hopkins Medicine.
Summary
Today, I embraced the fact that I wasn’t the perfect mom. Instead of adhering to the usual routine, I prioritized my mental health by allowing my son some extra screen time and sugar. Self-care is essential for emotional well-being, and I encourage all mothers to take time for themselves regularly, paving the way for a healthier family dynamic.