Let’s be honest: saying I’m hooked on my phone is a major understatement. Balancing a full-time job that demands my attention from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. alongside managing a popular blog with a substantial following means my phone is practically glued to my hand. When I’m not responding to colleagues or handling blog duties, I often find myself tethered to my device, missing out on quality time with my family.
Of course, I appreciate being able to juggle my work commitments while still being present for family activities, but this setup often results in me being only half-engaged at home. I find myself responding to my kids with distracted “uh-huhs” and “oh-reallys,” not completely tuning into what’s happening around me.
This lack of focus is painfully evident during dinner when my partner, Sarah, catches me sneaking glances at my phone under the table like a teenage student trying to sneak a peek at social media during class. (Is Twitter even still a thing for teens these days? Maybe it’s all about TikTok now.) I always think she won’t catch me, but she always does.
When she sees me scrolling during our mealtime, Sarah reacts as if I’ve committed a heinous offense. She’s right, of course. I’ve had her lean over and whisper, “Put that phone away, or I swear I’ll toss it in the toilet.” Her stern gaze is enough to make anyone rethink their priorities.
I know I should do better. Yet, letting go of my phone can be a challenge. To be fair, Sarah isn’t completely innocent either; I’ve lost count of the times she’s agreed to our kids’ outrageous requests while engrossed in a game of Candy Crush. Still, if we were to rate our phone habits, I’d rank a solid 10 for my addiction, while she would hover around a 6.
It’s no surprise that many parents share this struggle. Look around at any park, and you’ll notice children playing while nearly every parent is glued to their screens. The same scene unfolds at soccer games and gymnastics classes.
I’m not here to judge; I’m right there with you. My previous therapist even pointed out that my phone obsession was exacerbating my anxiety and depression. According to her, the time spent on social media could significantly impact mental well-being.
Recognizing this, I’m committed to making changes. I’m not ready to give up my phone entirely—my job doesn’t allow for that—but I plan to unplug more frequently this year. I’ll be leaving my device in the bedroom during dinner, keeping it in my pocket at the park, and turning it off while watching shows like My Little Pony with my daughters and attending my son’s soccer games.
By reducing these distractions, my hope is to become more patient and engaged. I want to truly be present with my children and cherish these moments. If I were to fast-forward twenty years into the future, I don’t want to look back and see a blur of phone screens overshadowing my kids’ laughter and joy.
I’m sure there will be some who comment about how they manage just fine without a smartphone or social media, living a much simpler life. That’s wonderful for them, but for me, my phone is a cherished tool—one I’ve decided to love a little less so I can appreciate the present more.
If you find yourself in the same boat, I invite you to join me in this journey. Set aside specific times during your day—like dinner, bedtime, or playtime—and put your phone in another room. Even turning it off can make a world of difference. A little effort can go a long way to being more present with our loved ones. For additional insight on family planning, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy.