My daughter, Lily, has a unique gift for sharing her dreams with me. When she recounts them, I often find they are more like intricate stories woven from her daily experiences—moments she cherishes or seeks to comprehend. During our morning hairbrush sessions or while driving her to school, she excitedly shares these elaborate narratives that can stretch beyond ten minutes. I never interrupt these precious exchanges, knowing that I am being granted a glimpse into her world.
Recently, we received Lily’s diagnosis: autism spectrum disorder. I found myself in tears in the waiting room, realizing this marked the end of living in uncertainty—a cloud that had loomed over us for years. It was clear from an early age that something was different. New situations would send her into a panic, and the only way she could cope with the overwhelming sensory experiences was by throwing a tantrum.
My older daughter has had to face the disappointment of either my husband or I sneaking out of events like recitals to soothe our anxious toddler. We also witnessed Lily struggle with her motor skills and develop strong aversions to certain textures, whether it was a rough princess costume or snacks that didn’t sit well with her.
No parent jumps to the conclusion of autism when observing these behaviors in their toddler. This realization unfolds painfully over time, often accompanied by the need for support from family and friends. Unfortunately, we were met with skepticism and judgment instead. Family members expressed their doubts, suggesting “better parenting techniques” or even offering to take her in for a week to “fix” her. Many friends distanced themselves, uncomfortable with our attempts to manage her anxiety.
It has been disheartening to witness how quickly people judge without attempting to understand. I, too, struggle at times to grasp Lily’s inner world. Sometimes she curls in on herself like a flower retreating from darkness, while other times her emotions burst forth in joyful excitement or deep confusion. I long for others to see beyond their initial reactions and recognize the brilliance and wonder that resides within her. I am eternally grateful for her pure heart, untouched by hate or contempt.
Lily has become one of my greatest teachers, and I hope others can recognize the joy and quirks wrapped in her delicate spirit. I encourage people to choose understanding over judgment, to offer support rather than unsolicited advice, and to embrace the unique individuals in their lives who harbor countless wonders in their dreams. I, for one, am eager to hear about tonight’s dreams while we brush our hair in the morning.
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In summary, my daughter Lily’s journey with autism has taught me invaluable lessons about love, patience, and understanding. I hope that others will learn to appreciate the beauty in those who are different and recognize the depth of their experiences.