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No Allowance for Chores: A Parent’s Perspective
by Lila Thompson
Updated: March 19, 2021
Originally Published: January 6, 2018
I’ve come to the realization that I’m behind the curve when it comes to giving my children an allowance. My oldest is eleven, and we have yet to establish any system where I pay them for their daily responsibilities. Cleaning their rooms, loading the dishwasher, or picking up their toys scattered across our living space isn’t something I reward them for. After years of threatening to employ garbage bags for their messes, they now comply without hesitation, knowing I can shift from calm to frantic cleaning in an instant.
To start paying them for these tasks now would feel like a backward step. I recognize the importance of teaching my kids the value of money, how to manage it responsibly, and the basics of saving. However, I’m still figuring these things out myself.
Experts often suggest that I should provide my kids with a weekly allowance—let’s say five dollars. They argue that the allowance isn’t a payment for chores, which are simply part of family life, but rather a lesson in financial literacy. So, essentially, I’d be giving them cash just for being kids? It must be great to be a child these days.
The idea is that children will learn to save their allowance for meaningful purchases, such as bikes or musical instruments—or in my daughter’s case, giant vats of paint to swim in. I see the merit in this approach. Kids would learn the value of money, how to save, and avoid frivolous spending on trendy items from social media ads.
But in my household, money exchanges often go something like this:
Me: “I’ll give you a dollar if you bike to the neighbors and bring back some eggs.”
Kid: “Sure!”
Then we both forget about the dollar until we’re at a store, where my child suddenly remembers and demands payment for markers or other random items. I can only imagine the experts shaking their heads at my parenting methods. Clearly, I’m not following the conventional path.
Growing up, I never received an allowance. Living in a remote area meant I had few opportunities to spend money, and my birthday or Christmas gifts were my main sources for things I wanted—like bikes or musical instruments. This might explain my laid-back attitude toward allowances and financial matters. However, I did work various summer jobs from the age of fourteen, including a stint washing dishes at a restaurant. That experience taught me that I needed to pursue higher education if I wanted to avoid such jobs in the future.
I understand that providing my kids with an allowance could help them grasp the concept of money management. However, I lack the organizational skills or maturity to consistently hand out set amounts weekly or to track their earnings for chores like washing the dog or cleaning their rooms. I’m just not that person. Apologies for my shortcomings. I suppose my kids will have to learn about finances the same way I did—through real-world experiences, like scraping old cheese off dinner plates in a restaurant kitchen while trying not to gag.
Sometimes, I wish I was a more responsible adult, capable of executing all the tasks that parenting experts recommend—keeping my car tidy, organizing kitchen cabinets, and making sure every bill is paid punctually. And yes, giving my kids an allowance is on that list. Just the other day, I accidentally put a potato through the washing machine. How does that even happen?
Admittedly, I should improve my efforts in teaching my children about money and finances. I’m still a work in progress. The knowledge of a dollar’s worth is a valuable lesson I could impart to my kids, ideally preventing them from developing a compulsive shopping habit or experiencing anxiety in stores like Target.
For now, however, I won’t be rewarding my kids with money for chores that they should be doing anyway. Not because experts suggest this is the right approach, but simply because I don’t want to.
This article was originally published on January 6, 2018.
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Summary:
In this article, the author discusses her unconventional views on giving children allowances for chores. Despite recognizing the importance of teaching financial responsibility, she admits to being disorganized and prefers her children to learn about money through real-life experiences. Ultimately, she chooses not to pay her kids for household tasks, believing they should contribute to family life without financial incentives.