I’m definitely a wine-loving mom. As soon as the clock hits five, I pour myself a glass of Merlot. By the time night falls, the bottle is empty, and I’m either tipsy or very close to it. Some evenings, I manage to take it slow, especially if I have a big day planned for the next morning. But on other nights, my sole objective is to indulge in as much as I can.
Don’t give me that “just a glass or two” nonsense. If that’s all I can have, I don’t even want to drink. This whole drinking thing is a game, a challenge to see how much I can consume without anyone catching on or until I’m collapsed on the bed — whichever comes first.
But am I an alcoholic?
I don’t drink every single day. When I’m at home alone with the kids, I don’t touch a drop. I always wait until after five to start, and I’m usually in bed by nine, hoping to sleep off the effects by morning. However, some mornings after heavy drinking are brutal. I drag myself out of bed, feeling the pain in my head and the discomfort in my stomach. I have to face the day because my kids need me, unlike the days back when I could simply sleep off the nausea. What was supposed to be a day filled with plans, chores, and activities often turns into me nursing my hangover and pushing everything off until tomorrow.
But again, am I an alcoholic?
My father was an alcoholic. He would start drinking beer before 9 am and switch to gin by the afternoon. He managed to take us to school and drive us to practices, all while hiding his stash in various places around the house. When he couldn’t hide it any longer, he openly admitted he was a raging alcoholic and seemed content with it.
I drink wine like so many moms on social media. I self-medicate to cope with tantrums, the pressure of having it all, and the monotony of being home all day. I consider myself “responsible” as I never drive under the influence and usually keep my intake in check. Yet, I find myself counting down to my next drink. Is it Thursday at the networking event? Or Saturday during date night with my husband? Once the drinking starts, my only focus is on where I can get my next glass. Can I order another drink now, or should I wait until we get home? The hunt begins, and I’m always left craving more. The only time I feel satisfied is when I’ve reached that point of blacking out.
Health-wise, I’m in decent shape. My vitals are good, I eat a lot of kale, and I exercise regularly. Still, this near-daily obsession with drinking is wreaking havoc on my life. It demands more and more from me each night, and the guilt and shame that follow in the morning are overwhelming. This behavior is hindering my role as a mother, wife, friend, and individual, limiting my potential to achieve great things for myself and my family.
All my friends indulge in wine too. We laugh about “wine o’clock” and gather for girls’ nights, knocking back glasses like it’s our last chance. Everything seems more enjoyable with alcohol, and the hardships of parenting shift from exhausting to uproarious. Surely, we can’t all be alcoholics; we’re just women seeking an escape. I’m just a mom looking for a release.
I’m intelligent, active, and surrounded by a loving family. I have people in my life who mean the world to me and could walk away if I don’t get it together. I have young children who rely on me for their well-being, needing me to be present, focused, and sober.
So, am I an alcoholic?
A resounding yes. And the journey to recovery starts now. For more insights on similar topics, check out this article on Modern Family Blog. If you’re considering at-home insemination, you can find useful information about artificial insemination here. For a deeper understanding of the subject, visit this resource on artificial insemination.
In summary, acknowledging the struggle with alcohol is the first step toward recovery and reclaiming a fulfilling life.