The Clutter in My Home Fuels My Anxiety

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By: Jenna Thompson

I’ve always had a penchant for tidiness. Growing up, I shared a room with my sister, who had a more laid-back approach to organization. I vividly remember entering our room, feeling my chest tighten, my heart race, and an overwhelming impulse to tidy up. The sight of our disordered space sometimes triggered a surge of frustration that I couldn’t quite explain.

Like many individuals, I grapple with anxiety, and clutter can elevate that anxiety from mild to unbearable in an instant. However, as a mother of three lively children, my anxiety over messiness poses a unique challenge. My kids love indulging in snacks, getting messy, and having fun. I want them to embrace their childhood, but I can’t deny that it’s difficult for me to relax when their toys are strewn about or when they bring home trinkets from friends. I find myself constantly reminding them to tidy up as gently as I can.

The sight of goody bags filled with cheap knick-knacks makes me uneasy. Just walking into a disorganized closet can send my anxiety levels soaring. After a long day, if I step into my home and feel like I’m being engulfed by unnecessary clutter, I begin to panic. When someone unexpectedly drops off a pile of hand-me-downs, I feel my tension rise. If I’m engrossed in a project and find the living room in disarray while my kids are distracted by screens, I become infuriated. Piles of papers, overflowing toy bins, and general disarray trigger an acute sense of anxiety in me.

People manage their anxiety in various ways. For me, it’s all about keeping clutter out of sight. I remind myself that with four family members and a couple of pets, it’s natural for “stuff” to accumulate. Children come with a collection of toys, sports gear, and even bits of nature like rocks and feathers. Occasionally, I manage to let go of my concerns and carry on with my day. Other times, it’s a struggle.

As soon as I allow myself to relax, it seems like the mess multiplies. My family likely thinks, “Mom doesn’t mind; I can leave my dirty socks on the floor, ignore my half-eaten snacks, and spread out the junk drawer.” Before I know it, I’m overwhelmed by a home filled with items we don’t need, and it sends me over the edge. The stress can lead to drastic measures, like tossing unopened candy bags or neglected toys into a trash bag.

Clutter doesn’t just impact my mental state; it affects my physical well-being. I find it hard to concentrate, and my stress manifests as tension in my muscles. If there’s chaos around me, my focus is lost. Sometimes, I freeze; other times, I engage in a cleaning frenzy.

It’s not merely about the extra work or nagging reminders I have to give; it deeply disturbs me to see money wasted on items that end up discarded or neglected. After holidays or birthday parties, my kids often feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of “stuff” they’ve received. This clutter impacts all of us, and nobody feels relief until we’ve cleared out a significant portion of our belongings.

Everyone has their triggers, and mine happens to be clutter. People frequently wonder how I maintain a tidy home. It’s not for anyone else’s approval; it’s a crucial part of my mental well-being. I feel more productive and ready to tackle the day when I wake up to a neat environment. Yes, messes will happen, but I prefer a new mess in a clean space over layers of chaos piling on top of each other. Just thinking about it gives me anxiety.

We all want our children to find joy and have fun. However, it’s easy to go overboard with possessions, leading to stress that isn’t worth the trouble. We need love, compassion, and basic necessities, but we don’t require an abundance of clutter in our lives.

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In summary, the clutter in my home significantly affects my mental health and overall well-being. I strive to create a balance between allowing my kids to enjoy their childhood while managing the chaos that comes with it. By maintaining a clutter-free environment, I can ensure that I remain productive and at peace.