From March to October, I embody the essence of an engaged mom. I host lively barbecues, organize neighborhood bonfires with s’mores for the kids, and coordinate carpools to soccer practice. I’m the PTA mom who brings Jell-O shots for the parents during Halloween festivities, and I genuinely enjoy participating in Girl Scout activities. Life feels vibrant and fulfilling, often escaping my need to document every moment on social media.
However, when November arrives, I brace myself for the onset of daylight saving time, which triggers my seasonal affective disorder (SAD). This change transforms me into a version of myself that feels unrecognizable. My husband is left perplexed by my sudden fatigue, and my daughter often wonders, “Why is Mom so upset?” or “Can we let Mom sleep a bit longer?”
Statistically, around 6% of the U.S. populace, particularly in northern regions, grapples with SAD, while an additional 14% experience milder seasonal mood fluctuations, commonly referred to as the winter blues. For me, SAD manifests as irritability and a lack of motivation. The mere act of getting out of bed morphs into a monumental task, and even sorting laundry feels like an insurmountable challenge. Days often see me staying in bed while my husband takes on the responsibilities.
This cycle of self-loathing follows closely behind. I should be the mother who prepares breakfast and packs lunches, and my husband deserves a partner who can stay awake past 8:30 p.m. to engage in meaningful conversations or enjoy date nights. Instead, I find myself feeling like a disappointment.
While winter is typically a season of joy and festivities, for me it marks the beginning of a challenging period. Here are some essential truths that those of us with SAD wish to convey:
1. We’re putting in a tremendous effort.
I strive to conceal the struggle behind daily activities like showering or even brushing my teeth. When the alarm rings, I drag myself downstairs, hoping for a jolt of energy from coffee just to get through a few hours before succumbing to the need for a nap. My usual pride in my appearance—complete makeup and coordinated outfits—dissolves into leggings and oversized tees as I wrestle with the winter blues. Despite my weariness, I make it to school pick-up on time, ensure dinner is prepared, and oversee homework completion. By 8 p.m., I feel as if I’ve run a marathon.
2. Patience is crucial.
This isn’t how I want to be. I don’t want to snap at my daughter during math homework or feel overwhelmed by a pile of dishes. Anxiety over planning holiday gatherings shouldn’t rob me of joy, nor should I spend entire days in bed. Understand that people with SAD cannot simply “turn off” their depression; we share the same desire as you to savor life’s moments.
3. Prioritizing self-care is essential.
For me, self-care entails taking multivitamins and vitamin D every day, spending hours near a SAD light, and committing to my noon CrossFit class regardless of how I feel. That hour of intense physical activity, along with the support of my CrossFit community, provides me with the endorphins needed to navigate the remainder of my day. Self-care varies for everyone—it might involve medication, yoga, or dietary adjustments—but it’s vital for us to find healthy outlets to escape the depths of SAD.
4. Hope is on the horizon.
I eagerly anticipate the return of spring and the end of daylight saving time. While many may dread losing an hour of sleep, I cherish the morning sunlight and the extended daylight hours. Suddenly, I feel invigorated, looking forward to late-afternoon soccer practices and family adventures. The prospect of hosting neighborhood sleepovers becomes exciting again, and my energy returns, allowing me to forgo afternoon naps. On those dreary December days, it’s easy to forget that brighter days lie ahead, but they always do.
In summary, living with seasonal affective disorder is a challenging experience. It’s essential for loved ones to understand the effort we exert daily, the need for patience, and the importance of self-care in our journey. For more insights on related topics, you might find our article on at-home insemination kits here. Additionally, if you’re exploring fertility issues, this resource on IUI success is highly recommended. Remember, as difficult as it may seem, brighter days will come.