One of my favorite internet memes features a dog sipping tea while wearing a fancy hat, sitting at a kitchen table engulfed in flames. The caption reads, “This is fine.” It never fails to crack me up because I relate to that dog on a profound level. As a perpetually tired mom of two little ones, my daily life often feels like a series of small crises demanding my immediate attention. I wake up to the sound of crying kids, I go to bed hearing the same, and everything in between could be likened to herding cats.
I’m not complaining—I’ve chosen this path. I always dreamed of being a mother, and now that I am, I cherish every moment with my kids. Yet, like many mothers, I’m also perpetually fatigued, emotionally drained, and mentally at my wit’s end. Parenthood presents a strange contradiction; my heart is full, yet I often feel like I’m barely holding it together. This is my reality, and I’ve come to terms with it.
However, when someone asks me how I’m doing, I often find myself unsure of how to answer. What do they genuinely want to know? The whole truth? Just the pleasant bits? How much can they handle hearing?
So, how am I doing?
Well, I’m a mom. For the past three years, I’ve averaged about four hours of sleep per night, and I can’t recall the last time I washed my hair. This morning, my largest pair of jeans wouldn’t button, and my baby’s diaper exploded all over her car seat.
How am I doing? I attempted to scrape that mess out of her car seat using a Starbucks napkin, but it tore. I would have used a wet wipe, but the last one went to cleaning a dried booger off my purse. Yes, poop and boogers are now part of my daily life.
How am I doing? My husband and I often feel like two ships passing in the night. We’re “Tag Team Parents,” high-fiving in the hallway as we manage our little ones. When night falls, we collapse into bed, too exhausted for conversation, let alone intimacy. And honestly, after a day filled with messes, how can I feel anything but worn out?
How am I doing? Raising a family of four isn’t cheap, and every morning I wake up acutely aware of the responsibilities on my shoulders. It’s our job to keep our kids safe, change their diapers, and eventually fund their college education. Just uttering the word “college” makes me break into a sweat.
But really, how am I doing?
Do you truly want to know? I’m fine.
Yet, “fine” carries a different connotation now. Ask any mother what we mean when we say “I’m fine,” and we’ll tell you. “Fine” signifies that we are living the life we’ve always wished for, but it comes with its challenges. We recognize the incredible privilege of nurturing these little souls, though the weight can feel heavy at times. “Fine” means we sometimes look in the mirror and hardly recognize ourselves because everything about us has transformed. But this is the life we chose.
“Fine” encapsulates the reality that being a mom is incredibly tough, and from an outsider’s perspective, our lives may appear to be in disarray. And you know what? They kind of are.
Despite the toll that motherhood takes on us, we are grateful. “Fine” means we resonate with that little dog, grinning amid the flames. This chaotic, exhausting life is everything we ever desired, and we are exactly where we want to be. So yes, we are fine. This is fine.
For those interested in family planning resources, check out this helpful guide on pregnancy and home insemination. Additionally, if you’re considering options for starting a family, the Resolve website offers excellent information on intrauterine insemination. And for anyone looking into at-home insemination options, you can explore this artificial insemination kit.
In summary, motherhood is a beautiful yet challenging journey filled with ups and downs. When we say “I’m fine,” we often mean that while we may be juggling chaos, we are also embracing the joys that come with it.