I’ve always found it amusing that they call it “co-sleeping” when it seems like my kids are the only ones actually getting any shut-eye. I enjoyed the experience of co-sleeping with both of my little ones—at least for a while. It was particularly convenient during breastfeeding; I could simply roll over and feed them without having to get out of bed or even put on pants. I could rest while my baby nursed safely swaddled beside me.
However, as they grew and became more active in their sleep, everything changed. Once I stopped nursing, I realized I wanted my bed back. So, we transitioned our kids to cribs in their own rooms, and eventually into their own queen-sized beds. Now, my partner and I tuck each child in, read them stories, and cuddle until they drift off. Then we perform the stealthy Friends Hug ‘n Roll maneuver to sneak back to our own bed and enjoy some much-needed freedom.
Here are five reasons co-sleeping just didn’t work for us:
- Sleep Quality
I’ve heard some parents claim that co-sleeping is their only route to getting any rest. But how do they manage that? For me, being poked, prodded, and pushed off the bed made it nearly impossible to get decent sleep. Every time I rolled over onto a warm spot, I had to wake up and check if it was wet or not. Yes, I’ve thrown a towel over it a few times until morning. I need to get quality sleep, and waking up repeatedly at night doesn’t help. There’s not enough coffee in the world to counter that. - Personal Space
With my work-from-home lifestyle, I am surrounded by little ones all day long. They constantly want to climb on me, touch me with their sticky hands, or wipe things on me. By the end of the day, I’m officially “touched out.” Sometimes, I just need a space to lie down without anyone touching me—a moment to breathe deeply and relax without anyone’s feet on me. - Safety Concerns
While co-sleeping can be safe when done correctly, once babies start to move, they turn into tiny mixed-martial artists. It begins with gentle slaps to the face and escalates to full-blown kicks to the sides. You might wake up feeling battered and bruised from your own children. The scariest part is waking up to find one of them has rolled onto your face! - A Personal Sanctuary
I often have to share my food with my children, and they get to choose what we watch on TV and what music we listen to. My bed is one of the few places that remains my own, and I don’t feel guilty about it. It’s my sanctuary—a space where I can work, relax, or simply enjoy some silence. It’s a Kidz Bop-free zone where I can play my own music! - Intimacy Issues
Many co-sleeping parents claim to find “creative” ways to reconnect, but quite frankly, I’m not as flexible as I used to be, and our pantry isn’t exactly spacious. While shower sex might sound exciting, in reality, one of us would likely end up injured. The kids are always around, which means the only time we truly have to ourselves is when they are both sound asleep behind closed doors.
Ultimately, every family needs to make choices that work for them. As long as you and your children are happy and healthy, that’s what truly matters. But for me, having quality sleep, personal space, safety, and a little sanctuary makes all the difference. I’m much happier when I can enjoy all of the above!
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Summary
Co-sleeping can work for some, but for our family, it presented challenges like sleep disruption, lack of personal space, safety concerns, and intimacy issues. Finding a balance that suits your family is key to maintaining happiness and health.