I didn’t even reach the parking garage after discovering I was expecting twins before I heard the phrase that would echo throughout my life for the next few years: “Wow,” the ultrasound technician remarked while examining my belly, “Three kiddos under three? You’re going to have your hands full.” Indeed. “Yes, ma’am,” I responded while trying to wipe away the excess gel that had pooled uncomfortably. Yes, my hands would certainly be full.
When we shared the news with our family, we received a chorus of disbelief from all sides: “But you live in a two-bedroom house! Two bedrooms for five people! And you don’t even have a garage!” I’m not entirely sure who they thought we were going to stow away in the garage, but yes, they made a valid point. They also raised an eyebrow when they peered into my compact hatchback and questioned, “How are you going to fit three car seats and a double stroller in there?” A great question, indeed.
I didn’t even make it out of the maternity ward after delivering the twins without a lactation consultant sizing me up and declaring, “That’ll be eight feedings a day times two,” as if tallying up a dinner bill. Then, leaning in closer, she whispered to my left breast, as if it was the chosen one, “That’s 16… if you’re lucky.” Unfortunately, luck was not on our side; I averaged closer to 20 feedings each day in those early months, thanks to my insatiable little ones.
On our inaugural trip to Costco for the mountain of diapers that would become our standard weekly haul, the cashier glanced at my oldest, who has cerebral palsy and will be in diapers for the foreseeable future, and at the twins strapped snugly to my chest. “Three in diapers, huh? That’s going to cost a pretty penny,” she said. We both eyed the total on the screen, and she was absolutely right.
When my maternity leave came to an end, HR kindly calculated the costs for me: placing all three kids in daycare, even with a generous 50% discount, would turn my paycheck into a bill. We were officially in the red. It turned out it was more economical for me to quit my job. The new math of five people living on one income was a challenge to navigate, and while it did save us money, it didn’t do much for my mental well-being. As my caravan approached, I’d often receive arm pats and quick hugs over the cacophony of one or three kids crying: “There are only 24 hours in a day. You can’t do it all.” I wanted to respond, “But if I don’t, who will?”
On the first day of preschool for the twins, I took their older brother along for the drop-off. When their new teacher inquired about his age and I told her, she gasped, hands to her cheeks like a character from a horror film. “Oh dear,” she exclaimed, “three college tuitions at once. My goodness.” I went home and promptly googled Gerber college funds and health savings plans.
As time has passed and various challenges have come and gone, the most common sentiment remains unchanged. It’s a phrase all mothers hear, in some form or another, irrespective of age: “The days are long, but the years are short.” Right now, as I navigate the exhausting phases of potty training and endless nose wiping, I can’t confirm this statement, but I suspect it holds true. Someday, I will look back and reflect on how quickly it all flew by.
I was never a math genius, but I was capable enough to handle these obvious realities of early motherhood. Mostly, I accepted these comments as small acknowledgments of the struggles we faced. However, next time I encounter a mother of three under three, I think I’ll just give her a Starbucks gift card and keep my thoughts to myself.
For those who are navigating similar challenges, you may find useful information on home insemination and fertility at Make a Mom and NHS. For comprehensive insights on parenting, Modern Family Blog is an excellent resource.
Summary
Managing three children under the age of three is undeniably challenging, filled with unexpected surprises and logistical puzzles. From navigating diaper costs to the emotional toll of parenting, this journey is a mix of overwhelming days and fleeting years. While the support from family and friends is appreciated, sometimes all a mother really needs is a moment of understanding and a little help.