My Surprise Baby: A Total ‘Oops’ Moment

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I discovered I was pregnant while my partner and I were navigating the parking lot of a mall with our two-year-old and four-year-old in tow. I thought to myself, “Wow, I’m a bit late,” and as I did the math, a wave of emotions hit me all at once: joy, dread, fear, excitement, and an overwhelming realization that I was, indeed, expecting again. I managed to keep it under wraps for two days before finally breaking the news to my partner. His reaction? “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I cried. At the time, he was still an adjunct professor picking up classes as they came, we had no health insurance, and now there was a third child on the way.

This was the classic Catholic ‘oops’ baby scenario: the Natural Family Planning we had been strictly following somehow didn’t work, despite our best efforts. It’s amazing how unpredictable life can be—sometimes everything just aligns in a way you never anticipated. And of course, there was no thought of termination; that was never on the table for us. We were about to be parents again, despite the fact that it was a rather inconvenient time.

The Assumptions Everyone Made

People don’t typically assume that pregnancies are accidental. I certainly didn’t, unless someone had been vocal about being done having kids and I spotted them with a noticeable baby bump in a store. So, naturally, everyone assumed that a struggling Ph.D. candidate and a writer without health insurance had decided to have a third child in quick succession. It was easy for them to attribute it to our Catholic beliefs.

I found myself growing increasingly frustrated with those assumptions. I didn’t want another baby; I just wanted to focus on the little ones I already had. I was also dealing with gestational diabetes and severe morning sickness, which made parenting a challenge.

Both sets of grandparents gave us plenty of side-eye. While no one outright said, “Seriously? Again?” the judgment was palpable. This only fueled my frustration further—I wanted to embrace this unexpected pregnancy, despite the circumstances. My kids, however, were thrilled from day one about the arrival of their new sibling. When I was about sixteen weeks along and we were discussing names, my four-year-old declared, “His name is Simon, and he will be born on Halloween.”

Well, Simon it was, and he did arrive on Halloween night.

Life Without Him Wouldn’t Be the Same

It may sound cliché, but life truly wouldn’t be the same without our ‘oops’ baby. Simon, affectionately nicknamed Sunny for his cheerful demeanor, is a sweet and tender-hearted little guy. He once shed tears over the mere concept of bullying—not because he was experiencing it, but because it exists in the world. He has a unique way of accepting apologies, insisting that if he offers one, he needs to hear “I accept your apology” in return.

Simon and his older brother August share a special bond; they keep each other entertained and often end up giggling late into the night. They build with Legos, play Roblox, and have even turned our backyard into a mud pit. Their shared traits, like similar ADHD, only strengthen their friendship.

Most importantly, Simon has been a source of stability for us during the pandemic. He and August have developed a normalcy that has helped them navigate through some tough times together. Our oldest, who initially had concerns about becoming a big brother again, has been surprisingly patient with Simon, creating a harmonious atmosphere at home.

That little boy transitioned from being an unexpected surprise to someone we couldn’t imagine our lives without. Yes, we wouldn’t trade our ‘oops’ baby for anything. He is special, wonderful, and brings a different kind of joy to our family. Though the initial shock caused plenty of angst, I would gladly go through it all over again.

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In summary, while my third child was an unexpected addition to our family, he has brought us immense joy and a sense of completeness that we never knew we needed. The journey has had its challenges, but ultimately, Simon has become an irreplaceable part of our lives.

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