PANDAS Gave My Young Daughter Severe Anxiety

It’s been 25 minutes past bedtime, and I can hear soft footsteps in the hallway, along with a little voice saying, “Mom.” This is the third night this week my daughter has struggled to fall asleep, and when I ask her what’s bothering her, she responds with, “I don’t know. I just feel worried.” I lie down beside her, gently stroking her hair and kissing her forehead, while wiping away her tears. As a parent, it’s heart-wrenching to see your child in distress and feel powerless to help.

As an adult, I’ve learned to manage my anxiety, but I never had those skills as a child. That’s why I’m committed to helping her find healthy ways to cope with her fears and worries.

Our journey towards addressing her anxiety began when she tearfully told me she felt like she had wet herself. At the age of 7, this revelation was compounded by shame, making the situation even more challenging. After checking, we confirmed she hadn’t had an accident, but she still insisted she felt wet.

We tried various solutions—different types of underwear, reducing her fluid intake before bed, and ensuring she used the bathroom before sleep—but the tears continued. Out of desperation, I turned to Google for answers, and soon I was the one losing sleep too. I made an appointment with her pediatrician.

Following a thorough examination and a series of tough questions (which I was wholly unprepared for), we ruled out any trauma or abuse. The doctor asked how she was feeling overall, and my daughter opened up about her sleep difficulties and the anxious feelings she was often experiencing.

Her pediatrician introduced me to a condition called PANDAS (Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders), which I had never heard of before. The symptoms matched my daughter’s experiences, so we began treatment immediately. Each child’s recovery time can vary, but thankfully, she returned to her usual self within days. While addressing her physical health was straightforward—antibiotics and steroids—helping her cope with the compulsive, anxious behaviors that prompted our visit was more complex.

At first, I felt utterly defeated. What had I done wrong? Was there something I could have done to prevent her struggles, especially knowing I live with anxiety and depression? Had I unknowingly passed this on to her?

Once again, I consulted Google. While some studies suggest mental illness can be hereditary, a child’s environment plays a significant role too. Engaging in open discussions about mental health has proven vital in supporting my daughter. I’ve allowed her to see me take my medication, even though admitting I’m not perfect is difficult. Just as I had to embrace my quirks, I want her to do the same.

Since her anxiety appeared suddenly, without any previous signs, we decided against medication. Will this always be the case? It’s hard to say. For now, she employs several strategies to manage her anxiety without letting it overwhelm her. We collaborated with her school counselor to create glitter jars, worry stones, and encouraged her to write down her feelings.

Glitter jars offer a way for her to focus on something other than anxious thoughts. Shaking them up and watching the glitter settle allows her mind to relax. Worry stones are another handy tool, perfect for discreet use. By rolling bakeable clay into small balls and shaping them, she can carry a stone in her pocket and rub it when feeling anxious. She even chose to create a spiral design, which she finds calming.

Sometimes, kids might just need quiet time. If she doesn’t want to talk, I suggest journaling or using a worry workbook. She chose her journal, decorated it, and made it a personal space for her thoughts—no judgment or peeking allowed. As challenging as it is to give her this independence, it’s essential for her to work through her feelings.

Equipping my daughter with these tools, along with support and patience, has made a tremendous difference. When I was her age, my anxious feelings were often dismissed or labeled as “sensitivity.” According to the CDC, around 4.4 million children struggle with anxiety, and those are just the diagnosed cases.

Since we started using these strategies and fostering open conversations about mental health, I hear those small footsteps in the hallway less often. My daughter knows she can approach me with any worries, and together we can discuss or address them until she feels at ease. While I haven’t mastered the art of parenting an anxious child, I’m determined to ensure her experience is different from mine. Life with an anxious child can improve, and you’re not alone—you’re doing an amazing job.

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Summary:

In this article, a mother recounts her experience helping her daughter cope with anxiety caused by PANDAS, a condition that led to sudden emotional distress. She shares the journey of finding effective coping strategies, including creating glitter jars and worry stones, and emphasizes the importance of open conversations about mental health. The article highlights the importance of supporting children with anxiety and encourages parents to seek resources and share their experiences.

Keyphrase: Managing anxiety in children

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