You know that feeling when you awaken from a disturbing dream, only to find that reality is even worse? Each day, we face a world where support for Donald Trump as a presidential candidate is prevalent.
My views on those who support him are straightforward. I’ve even suggested they remove me from their social media. I stand firm in that request—those who endorse Trump likely won’t appreciate my online presence. It’s doubtful I would change their opinions.
But what of those who believe Trump is a poor choice, yet are so convinced that Hillary is the ultimate evil that they consider voting for him? I find myself unsure of how to engage with such individuals.
What can I say to my daughter? My son? I don’t intend to shield my 6-year-old daughter from the reality of Trump, though her questions about his supporters leave me at a loss for words. Trump’s dangerous rhetoric and unqualified status as a candidate are just the beginning. If my primary concern was simply his lack of qualifications or my disagreements with his policies, I could break it down for her. I would still feel anxious about our future, but I could at least explain the political landscape.
I am grateful that my daughter attends a school with a diverse group of peers. But how do I rationalize the support for a man who has labeled people from Mexico as rapists, has refused to denounce the KKK, openly mocked individuals with disabilities, and faced numerous lawsuits for discrimination? The daily statements that should have destroyed anyone’s credibility fall short of addressing the broader spectrum of his unapologetically racist behavior. Unlike his casinos where the buffets are complimentary, this one comes at a steep cost and is accompanied by misogyny.
How do I communicate to my daughter, a young girl and future woman, not only the harmful things Trump has said but also the existence of those who support him or overlook his hateful remarks so easily? How do I explain voting for a man who routinely objectifies women based on their appearance, insults them, and displays a troubling familial dynamic by sexualizing his own daughter?
What message does this send to my daughter? How can I help her understand and value herself, instilling in her the belief that she defines her own worth? How do I teach her that others’ judgments do not determine her value? How will she learn that people’s worth is not dictated by gender, sexual orientation, race, disability, religion, or appearance, when the opposite is so blatantly broadcasted from the presidential podium?
What does this communicate to me? Typically, I adopt a more “live and let live” philosophy. Yes, I’ve cultivated a liberal environment around me, residing in a predominantly liberal neighborhood in a state that appears to be growing more conservative politically. My social media reflects this. Gone are the days of feeling obligated to keep in touch with everyone I’ve encountered. If someone like Tom from elementary school believes misinformation about Obama, I feel no need to maintain that connection on social media.
There’s a difference between deciding who to include in my circle and feeling compelled to silence dissenting voices.
What does it signify that I hesitate to share these thoughts? I have openly discussed my struggles with mental health and the complexities of motherhood. I have faced harsh criticism online. Trolls don’t intimidate me; their words may sting, but they’ve never instilled fear.
This piece isn’t particularly controversial—at least not by Trump’s standards. Yet, the fear persists. It terrifies me because Trump has incited his followers against those who oppose him. This fear of expressing myself is a reflection of the culture we now inhabit, directly influenced by a presidential candidate.
Yes, I could mask my identity or publish this anonymously. It saddens me profoundly that I even consider such options. This isn’t solely about the contents of my essay—it’s about the pervasive culture of fear we find ourselves in.
In a nation where freedom of speech and the press is enshrined in our first amendment, I feel silenced. What message does my silence convey to my children?
I contemplated fear and suppression, and how subtly we shape our children’s beliefs about their own worth and the world around them. The cost of remaining silent seemed more significant than the risk of voicing my opinions. I know I may encounter unkind comments, but it’s better for me to face them than for my children to internalize negativity through my silence.
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In summary, navigating the implications of a Trump candidacy poses significant challenges for parents, particularly when considering the messages it sends to our children about self-worth and societal values.
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