Reflections on Frustration and Isolation During the Pandemic

pregnant woman in pink dress sitting on bedAt home insemination kit

Honestly, I think I’ve reached a point where I feel a bit fed up with everyone. This past year has been a whirlwind, hasn’t it? I’m worn out, drained, and emotionally fried. Each day feels like a guessing game: Is it just fatigue, the ongoing isolation from anyone outside my household for what feels like an eternity, my carb-heavy diet, or is it merely a bad mood? Who can really tell?

First, let me clarify that I typically view people as pretty remarkable. While there are always exceptions, I’ve always believed that most individuals are inherently good. That belief is still there, but wow, this last year has really put that to the test.

Some days, I truly felt like I was on the verge of hating everyone. A quick scroll through social media, a glance at the news, or even a chat with a close friend could send me into a spiral of frustration. I found myself feeling irritable towards even those I respect and care for. There seemed to be no logic behind it. Just seeing images of people carefree and unmasked with friends made my blood boil. Conversations about the risks of in-person schooling could bring me to tears, especially since my kids have been back in class since January.

What Was Happening to Me?

What was happening to me? When did I become so negative? I don’t want to be that person; I genuinely appreciate people.

Here’s the reality: people can be incredible and inspiring, but they can also be selfish and ignorant. This past year, many have revealed their true colors, and it hasn’t been all rainbows and sunshine. Individuals I thought were kind have shown some troubling biases, and friends I believed were enlightened have turned out to be conspiracy theorists dismissing science, thinking they know better than trained professionals simply to justify their choice not to wear masks.

During crises, people often show their true selves, and it hasn’t been pretty. Friendships have shifted or even crumbled. My respect for many has dwindled, and I’ve begun to lose faith in humanity. The camaraderie we shared during the early pandemic days quickly disappeared, leaving a “look out for yourself” mentality in its wake. This year has been riddled with shouting matches, finger-pointing, and a mountain of confusion. Every decision, even simple ones like going grocery shopping or sending kids to school, has been morally complex. Some think it’s reckless to shop in person, while others believe extreme caution impacts their family’s well-being. If I let my kids play outside with friends while avoiding indoor visits, am I being overly cautious or too risky? If I receive a vaccine when I technically qualify, am I making the right choice, or am I selfishly jumping ahead of others?

The constant second-guessing and judgment has been relentless, contributing to a kind of emotional whiplash that is utterly draining. Honestly, I’ve never felt as isolated as I have this past year. It hasn’t just been about not seeing anyone outside of my immediate family; it’s been feeling like no one truly understands what I’m going through. I suspect many of us feel this way.

Navigating Disparities

Regardless of how each of us has handled life during the pandemic, finding someone who shares your perspective seems nearly impossible. And I’m not talking about those who deny the virus. Even among those of us who take the situation seriously, we all have different comfort levels. Some are fine with in-person schooling but mask up outdoors, while others are okay with small family gatherings yet hesitant about grocery shopping. Navigating these disparities has been emotionally and physically exhausting. Sometimes, I’ve thought about just escaping to a remote cabin in the woods with a pack of dogs. Yeah, it’s been that intense.

But I refuse to succumb to a knee-jerk reaction of “people are terrible.” I want to remember that humanity can be truly enchanting, despite its flaws. I don’t want to become so jaded that I overlook the good that people do. It’s not that I hate everyone; I just detest the circumstances of the past year.

Finding Relief

Fortunately, I’ve discovered a few strategies that help ease my frustration. Reminding myself that we’re all under immense stress and that grace is necessary has been essential. Binge-watching trash TV (currently hooked on “White Collar”) has also been a welcome distraction. And I’ve found that classic stress-relievers like meditation, exercise, and fresh air really do help. Plus, getting vaccinated has been a relief.

Conclusion

In conclusion, this year has presented us with impossible situations, where no decision feels wholly right or wrong. If you’re grappling with feelings of anger and isolation, know that you’re not alone. These feelings will eventually pass… I think… I hope. And if they don’t? You just might find me living off-grid with a pack of dogs.

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Summary

The past year has been challenging, leading to feelings of isolation and frustration towards others. Despite generally viewing humanity positively, the pandemic has tested these beliefs. Navigating differing opinions on safety and health created emotional exhaustion. However, finding ways to cope, such as binge-watching TV and practicing self-care, can help alleviate these feelings. Ultimately, it’s important to remember the good in people amidst the chaos.

Keyphrase: frustrations during the pandemic

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