My Child Has Cancer, and I’m Struggling with Caregiving

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During the holiday season of 2020, my partner and I opted for a quiet celebration. We skipped the large gatherings with friends and family, including my elderly stepmother, prioritizing safety above all. Instead, we enjoyed some comforting meals and revisited classic films.

In my 54 years, I had never seen the Rocky movies, a fact that shocked my high school friends when I shared it on social media as we watched the original from 1976. I found it engaging, and we ended up watching the entire series, concluding with Creed, where Rocky trains Apollo Creed’s son. In this film, Rocky faces a cancer diagnosis.

I find the depiction of cancer in media frustrating. Typically, patients are shown sitting in treatment chairs, sometimes with hair, and a few months later, they’re cured. There’s even a cheerful Netflix show aimed at children dealing with leukemia. Everything seems to turn out perfectly in these portrayals.

But the reality is much harsher. My son was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia in 2018 at the age of 20. As this is a pediatric cancer, his treatment took place in a children’s hospital, involving several treatment plans. We thought Plan C was effective, but sadly, he relapsed in October 2020.

A meme once caught my eye that said, “Anything your parents do for you after you’re eighteen is out of pure love.” Legally, parents aren’t obligated to care for their adult children, but who wouldn’t want to support their child fighting cancer?

We spent countless hours in the hospital together. I stayed overnight, prepared meals to give him a break from hospital food, and made trips to the store for his favorite drinks. Wouldn’t any loving mother do the same? It’s my responsibility as a mother to stand by him as he battles this illness.

Regardless of age, anyone facing cancer needs an advocate. Navigating the medical bureaucracy is overwhelming – from doctors to insurance companies, the process is exhausting. There are numerous grants and donations available, but someone has to take the initiative to find and apply for them.

Honestly, I dread going through this again. I have a life – a job, a partner, other kids, and grandchildren. I don’t want to pause everything I’ve built once more. Yet, if I don’t step up, who will?

People often say, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do” upon hearing about my son’s second diagnosis. Here’s what would truly help:

Check In with the Family

I understand you might not know the right words to say. It’s tough when cancer strikes young adults. Just reaching out to say hello and asking how my son is doing means a lot. We all feel the impact – parents, siblings, and the entire family. We’d love to hear from you regularly!

Send Food

On good days, I struggle to find the energy to cook. With worry over my son’s treatment, meal planning is the last thing on my mind. Sending food would be a blessing! Ready-made meals from stores like Costco or Whole Foods make such a difference, and I’d appreciate any friendly visit.

Set Up a GoFundMe

Cancer treatment is costly, even with insurance. When my son was first diagnosed, I had to take an unpaid two-month leave from work. Many parents face travel expenses for quality treatment and are unable to work. We are currently going to MD Anderson in Houston, which adds to our financial strain. I’m fortunate that I can work remotely, but many can’t and might not voice their struggles. Starting a GoFundMe can rally community support for families navigating childhood cancer.

While I wish I didn’t have to go through this again, neither does my son. Still, I’ll be by his side until he emerges victorious.

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Summary:

This article recounts the emotional struggles of a mother caring for her son diagnosed with cancer. It highlights the challenges of managing treatment and the support systems available to families in similar situations. The author shares personal reflections on the realities of cancer and offers suggestions on how friends and community members can provide meaningful assistance.

Keyphrase: cancer caregiving struggles

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