“Why did I come in here?” This is a common question among new mothers navigating the challenging waters of postpartum life, often referred to as “mommy boot camp.” These moms are frequently fogged by sleep deprivation and the whirlwind of postpartum hormones. They struggle with the simplest tasks, from taking a shower to grappling with feelings of inadequacy over breastfeeding. Some feel judged for opting for formula, while others are learning to accept their bodies that may now resemble deflated balloons.
Amid the chaos of learning how to care for a newborn around the clock, it’s easy for new moms to lose sight of their own health and well-being. Unfortunately, this can lead to serious issues like eating disorders or depression. The first step I encourage new mothers to take is to prioritize their own self-care, even while they care for others. Remember, prioritizing yourself doesn’t mean leaping out of bed with excitement at 5 a.m. Instead, it means finding ways to include yourself in your daily routine, no matter how small those efforts may seem.
Understanding Self-Care
Self-care can manifest in various forms, and it’s important to adopt an approach that works for you. Consider this as encompassing two key elements: an actionable step and a tone of deep compassion for yourself.
Let me share a recent experience: After dropping my child off at school, I headed to a café to meet a colleague and do some writing—my form of self-care. However, after our meeting, I rummaged through my bag and realized I had forgotten my laptop and journal. A part of me thought, “Great! No writing today!” I even tried to convince myself that it had been five years since my original deadline, so why not just indulge in chocolate instead?
But then, another voice inside me chimed in: “Nope. You’re not abandoning your self-care.” This voice, which I often use to support clients facing similar postpartum challenges, reminded me that it was essential to stay accountable. “I know you want to give up and just focus on others, but I’m going to push you to write today. Now, let’s see what you can do with what you have.”
After rummaging through my bag, I found a coloring page and a scrap of paper with stars cut out by my little one. Armed with a pink pen, I adopted a determined tone reminiscent of Tim Gunn from Project Runway, urging myself to “make it work.” And you know what? I produced some decent content! It wasn’t perfect, but it was enough given the circumstances. The key takeaway? It’s not about being flawless; it’s about showing up and doing your best.
Connecting with Yourself
Moms, maintain that vital connection with yourselves. Be your own protective mama bear. Nurture that fierce bond with yourself just as you do with your child. And if you’re a recovering perfectionist, remember to lower your standards. As I’ve learned, it’s often better to underpromise and overdeliver.
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Summary
Moms often find themselves overwhelmed by the demands of new parenthood, leading to neglect of their own needs. It’s crucial to incorporate self-care into daily routines, even if it seems small. By nurturing a compassionate relationship with yourself, you can better manage the challenges of motherhood.