It’s taken a considerable amount of reflection and professional guidance to reach where I am today. Everyone told me that parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and they were right. Yet here I am, three years into this journey, and I’ve come to realize that raising kids isn’t as complicated as it seems. They require just the basics: nourishment, affection, and naps.
But adults? They can truly drive you up the wall. It’s the grown-ups that are the real challenge. Perhaps they ought to come with a user guide of some sort. Unfortunately, they don’t, which is precisely why I sought therapy. (Best decision I ever made, by the way.)
I must have spent countless hours at that metaphorical baggage claim, trying to unpack the emotions surrounding those who have hurt or disappointed me. I’ve learned to process my feelings, embrace them, and ultimately move on—essentially mastering the art of letting go.
However, there is one group of individuals I will never comprehend or forgive: the people who completely ignored my children’s existence.
Sadly, my therapist informs me this is all too common. How these individuals manage to live with themselves is beyond me.
I know I shouldn’t expend my energy on this, but I feel compelled to express myself. So, to those who faded away from my life after I became a parent, I have one question: What is wrong with you?
Did you truly believe you could profess love for someone over many years—and then vanish when they embraced parenthood? Do you think I’ll believe for a second that you genuinely cared about me if you completely disregard my children, who are now my heart and soul?
If you didn’t want to be part of my life anymore, that would be understandable. I’m no saint; I have my shortcomings. My jokes can be off-the-wall, I’m notoriously tardy—the list goes on. But you tolerated all of that. You stuck around during the ups and downs. Then, just as my first child arrived, you vanished. Why?
The truth is, it stung initially. I desperately wanted to share my joy with you and introduce you to this remarkable little person I knew you’d adore. Look at this miracle I created! Yet, my calls went unanswered, and visits never materialized. I’m not asking for you to dive headfirst into a scrapbook of my children’s lives, but a little acknowledgment would have been appreciated—recognition that they are now part of my world. After all, they are my kids, and you claimed to care about me.
I’m not hurt anymore. I refuse to wallow in self-pity because here’s the reality: If you’re too self-centered to appreciate the joy my children bring, that’s your loss.
And it’s a massive one.
Since you’re no longer in my life, let me share a glimpse of what you’ve missed: My son has a laugh that resonates like a bell. His hugs can fill your heart with joy. He possesses a remarkable sense of humor; a toddler’s well-timed joke can be downright hilarious.
And my daughter? She’s a force of nature—a vibrant little dynamo exploring this world, one outlet at a time. The sound of her tiny footsteps dancing across our hardwood floors is music to the ears of any weary parent. If you’re comfortable ignoring that, well, that’s a bit sad for you.
By stepping away when my children entered the picture, you left the show at intermission. You snagged your overpriced souvenir and exited just when the best part was about to unfold. I truly pity you for missing out.
These kids are extraordinary, filled with love and joy to share.
After much soul-searching, I’ve arrived at this conclusion: To all the former friends and family who ghosted the greatest kids in the world—if you don’t care enough to know these remarkable little humans, then you don’t deserve to be part of their lives. Plain and simple.
Wishing you all the best in life. Seriously.
Because we will thrive without you.
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