The Test: Wow! So many questions are flooding my mind!
- Is it reliable?
- What should I do next?
- How do I inform the father? What are the best ways for him to support me and how can I support him?
- How do I avoid pregnancy complications?
- What should I eat and drink?
- What’s truly beneficial for both me and the baby?
- Should I work out? What type of exercise is safest?
- Which products should I avoid for the health of me and my baby?
- What vitamins or supplements should I consider?
The list goes on…
Chances are, these are just a few of the myriad questions swirling in your head. And this barely scratches the surface of the confusion, fear, excitement, and all the other jumbled emotions you’re experiencing.
Let me be clear: YOU ARE NOT ALONE! YOU DON’T HAVE TO NAVIGATE THIS ALONE EITHER! Repeat after me: I CAN DO THIS! I AM STRONG!
But nothing comes easy. I am the product of an unplanned pregnancy with a father who was absent. To put it simply, my parents were close friends, but he didn’t believe my mother when she told him I was his child. He left.
To complicate matters further, my mother struggled with addiction—primarily alcohol, but drugs played a part too. I spent a significant part of my childhood with my grandmother, which, looking back, was a protective measure, though I didn’t understand it then. I witnessed my mother endure physical abuse time and again in nearly every relationship she had.
She wasn’t a bad person. She had a heart of gold and was probably the funniest person I knew. She just battled an addiction that dictated her life. She instilled in me a love for Jesus and taught me the importance of kindness, for which I am thankful. Sadly, I lost her to opioids when I was 20, and she was only 44.
My twenties were marked by poor decisions, wrong paths, and regrets. My health suffered, my relationships faltered, and I came to a pivotal point in my life. Ultimately, I made choices to improve my situation. I graduated from college and began teaching first grade. At 24, I decided to share my life with Jake, my best decision ever, knowing we would eventually want to expand our family—just not right away.
We enjoyed a few years of romantic bliss! I transitioned to teaching fourth grade and adored all my students.
Then, unexpectedly…life took a turn.
Let me rewind a bit. I’ve never had a consistent monthly cycle. In fact, I started on birth control at 17 to help regulate it. In my early twenties, I realized that taking synthetic hormones long-term wasn’t right for me, so I stopped. What a difference that made! I no longer had a regular cycle, but I felt so much better physically and mentally. However, this brought its own challenges.
I could never predict when my period would arrive—or if it would even show up at all. I’d go for months without a cycle, which was amazing in some instances, but it always seemed to appear at the most inconvenient times—beach vacations, summer pool parties, romantic getaways. You feel me? It was frustrating!
In the summer of 2010, Jake and I started to discuss the idea of starting a family. No rush—we’d wait at least a year.
“If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans!” This saying turned out to be remarkably true for us.
That summer, during my annual check-up, I shared our plans with my OB-GYN, who prescribed a medication to jumpstart my cycle. We had spent years uncertain if we would ever have children, as I hadn’t been on birth control for a long time and had yet to see any surprises.
Fast forward to the beginning of the school year. I went to work every day feeling nauseous and unbelievably tired. I was throwing up in bags on the way to work each morning. It was dreadful! Honestly, I thought I was just dealing with a stomach bug—maybe naively so.
On the fourth day of complaining, a colleague asked me, “Are you pregnant?” I confidently and quickly replied with a resounding, “NO!” She just smiled knowingly.
That day, my anxiety heightened. We wanted children, but were we ready? We had talked about waiting a year. With my irregular cycles, I had feared I might never conceive. Surely I couldn’t be pregnant now, could I?
That afternoon, I bought three pregnancy tests. When the first one turned positive faster than I could get off the toilet, I nearly fainted. Still in disbelief, I took the other two tests, which also confirmed the same result. I had to lie down. I felt everything at once—giddy, yet completely terrified.
And how on earth was I supposed to tell Jake?
I didn’t devise any clever plan to break the news. In fact, my emotions were so heightened that I called him multiple times—perhaps a borderline-crazy number of calls. Since he didn’t answer, I took a photo of the tests and texted it to him.
Yes, I was in shock, so he should be too, right? Not my finest moment, but we can laugh about it now.
The following weeks felt like an eternity as I waited to see the doctor for confirmation. I was anxious to share the news with family and friends. I had all the same questions and concerns too.
Life continued as usual while I wrestled with feelings of overwhelm and terror. Had those cocktails harmed the baby? What about all the sushi I’d consumed?
Navigating pregnancy can be daunting, but you’re not alone. For those considering at-home insemination, resources like Vegas Pregnancy and Make a Mom offer supportive services, including a free sperm donor matching service and the only reusable option for at-home insemination. If you’re curious about how the insemination process works, check out this guide.
Additionally, if you have questions about paternity testing during pregnancy, our blog post on paternity tests while pregnant could provide some clarity. For further insights, Healthline is an excellent resource for pregnancy-related information.
In summary, if you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, it’s natural to feel a mixture of emotions and questions. But remember, you are strong and capable. Support is available, and you don’t have to go through this journey alone.