Does anyone have tips on how to make mom friends who aren’t trying to sell you something, judge your choices, or give unsolicited parenting advice? I sure don’t.
Recently, I might have forged a potential mom friendship. We struck up a conversation at the park and exchanged Facebook details with an air of uncertainty. It’s a rare occasion when you connect with another mom on such a genuine level. She could end up being my new bestie, or this could be the last time we ever talk. Either way, I’ll probably find myself “liking” her kid’s wedding photos in two decades, thanks to Facebook.
Why is forming mom friendships so challenging?
It’s much like dating, but without the fun elements like romantic dinners and the thrill of attraction. Instead, we have confusion and awkward encounters. Maybe it’s just me fumbling through this process. After several years of motherhood, I still haven’t figured out the art of transforming a stranger into a friend without making a complete fool of myself.
It’s not that I lack friends; I have plenty of wonderful ones who’ve endured my “foot-in-mouth” moments over the years. Seriously, bless them. One time, I made a friend after a few too many drinks, looked her in the eye, and boldly declared, “We’re going to be friends!” Surprisingly, it worked out, but I certainly wasn’t at my best.
Typically, my attempts at making friends unfold like this:
Initial Contact
We exchange shy smiles across the baby swings, occasionally glancing at the crushed goldfish crackers scattered around. Maybe she smiles back when our kids start playing together.
The Approach
Now that we’ve acknowledged one another, I sense she’s open to conversation. To break the ice, I might compliment her shoes or stroller. Is this the start of a lasting friendship? It’s time for my go-to question: “How old is your child?”
When another mom asks about your child’s age, it’s practically an invitation to hang out. This is a golden opportunity—don’t let it pass!
The Conversation
This is the moment of truth: will I ace this or completely blow it? The conversation is a delicate dance where we both gauge if we vibe well. Are we on the same parenting wavelength? Do we share similar values? Is she a potential stage 5 clinger?
Assessing the Situation
Before diving deeper, I’m analyzing whether she’s a total weirdo who only feeds her kids kale and dandelion stems. While we shouldn’t judge each other, I refuse to exchange info with someone who’s going to spend the next twelve years trying to “save” me or sell me essential oils. True story: I once went on a “playdate” that turned out to be a sales pitch. I can be quite gullible.
The Exchange
Alright! She seems reasonably normal and unlikely to pressure me about my spiritual well-being. Let’s exchange contact info!
“So, our kids seem to be getting along. Should we, um, you know…”
“Oh! Absolutely! Are you on Facebook?”
“Yeah, but, um… what was your name again?”
“Great! Let’s plan a playdate!”
Once we’ve crossed this hurdle, I’m feeling hopeful. Just kidding! This is where things can get a bit weird.
Planning the Playdate
When do I reach out? Should I invite her over, or is that too forward? Picking a neutral spot seems safest. How soon should we set this up? I don’t want to come off as pushy, but I also don’t want to lose momentum. These thoughts often keep me awake at night.
I once met a lovely woman at the library, and we hit it off. I invited her to the park, but she had to cancel. Now I’m left wondering who should take the next step. Was she just being polite and trying to blow me off? Does she feel guilty for canceling and is too embarrassed to reach out again? Or has she even thought about it since? These are the weighty questions that plague my mind.
The Playdate
If we navigate through those awkward stages and finally schedule a playdate, hallelujah! If it doesn’t turn into a sales pitch or a babysitting arrangement, I may just have a new friend. And of course, the kids need to get along too.
The Awkward Goodbye or BFF?
If our kids get along and we mesh well, we can officially call ourselves friends! However, sometimes things end on a strange note. If you’re lucky, you can pinpoint a reason; if not, you’re left with an awkward silence. Maybe it was me, or perhaps she’s just super busy. You’ll never really know.
I once sent a friend request to a mom from my daughter’s preschool after she suggested a playdate. Months later, that request remains hanging in limbo between us. We chat every pickup, and she insists, “We should have a playdate!” Yet, that awkward request lingers—what gives?
On occasion, these interactions do lead to genuine friendships. You find that one mom who’s witnessed your most chaotic parenting moments and empathizes with you, saying, “Me too, girl, me too.” These women are true diamonds in the rough, and you should cherish them—just remember, don’t be a stage 5 clinger; it’s a delicate balance.
Good luck out there, ladies! May the odds be ever in your favor.
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Summary
Making friends as a mom can feel just as awkward as dating. It often involves shy smiles, tentative compliments, and a lot of second-guessing. The journey from initial contact to potential playdate is fraught with uncertainty. Sometimes it leads to genuine connections, while other times, it ends in confusion. Navigating this social landscape requires patience, humor, and a bit of courage.
Keyphrase: Making Mom Friends
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