“Am I doing a good job as a mom?” I asked my partner, my voice trembling as tears threatened to spill. I already knew his response, but hearing it still brought me comfort.
“Absolutely. You’re an amazing mom,” he said, sitting beside me at the kitchen counter. “What’s going on?”
What was going on? The same old struggle!
“I ask our daughter to do simple things—like put on her shoes, tidy up her toys, or eat something besides Goldfish crackers—and she just ignores me. I find myself repeating myself over and over, growing increasingly frustrated until I eventually lose it and start yelling…” My voice broke, and I felt warm tears rolling down my cheeks. “I JUST DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE HER MOM!”
There it was—the overwhelming feeling that had been building inside me for months, maybe even years. Despite consuming every parenting book I could get my hands on, none of the advice seemed to make a difference in my relationship with my 5-year-old.
Change was necessary because I didn’t like who I was becoming: a mom who yelled too much, a mom who couldn’t wait for bedtime to finally arrive. Recently, I had even started to wonder if I was cut out for this parenting gig.
My partner did his best to support me, but with his long work hours, the bulk of parenting responsibilities fell squarely on my shoulders.
That night, sitting at my computer long after everyone else had gone to bed, I searched for answers. Was I not giving my daughter enough positive reinforcement? Or was I giving her too much? Were my expectations too high for a 5-year-old? Or was I just making excuses for her? Every parenting article I found seemed to contradict the last, leaving me more bewildered than ever.
Then it hit me: I was not equipped to handle the challenges in my relationship with my daughter. Just because I had read a smattering of parenting resources didn’t mean I knew how to effectively parent my child.
The truth was, I needed help. And I realized that help wouldn’t come from a book, podcast, or a well-meaning friend. What I needed was personalized guidance from a professional. So, I typed “Local Parent-Child Counselors” into Google, and voilà!
There were numerous listings for family counselors in my town, along with testimonials from parents who, like me, sought constructive tools to enhance their parenting skills. Many claimed that, with some guidance, their relationships with their children had flourished. I booked my first appointment for the following week.
I won’t pretend that I found a magic solution overnight. Even after several sessions, my daughter and I are still learning to communicate effectively. But we are beginning to genuinely hear each other, and that alone is a significant step forward.
One technique we recently adopted is called Whole Body Listening (WBL). Developed by speech-language pathologist Susanne Marie Poulette, this method encourages kids to engage in listening using not just their ears but also their eyes (looking), hands (keeping still), feet (staying planted), and mouths (remaining quiet).
Many parents mistakenly assume children naturally know how to listen, but in reality, listening is a skill that often requires teaching. As Poulette explains in her work, these “whole-body” activities are designed to help kids learn the active behaviors associated with listening, rather than passively hearing information.
In the past, I expected my daughter to listen while she was focused on other activities. I never thought to ask her to “look at me” when I spoke or to pause her play to hear me clearly. And yet I’d get frustrated when I had to repeat myself. Now it’s clear—my daughter simply wasn’t hearing me.
Some people have asked me why I take my 5-year-old to counseling. “Isn’t she too young?” they wonder. The answer is a resounding “No.” There’s no such thing as being too young to learn essential communication skills. These skills will benefit my daughter—and our family—far beyond today.
If you’re in a similar situation and feel like parenting books aren’t cutting it, I strongly encourage you to consider seeking a counselor. It has made a remarkable difference for my family. Parenting is incredibly challenging, but perhaps, with a little professional help, it can become more manageable.
For more insights on improving communication and family dynamics, you might want to check out this resource.
In summary, seeking professional help can be a game-changer in your parenting journey. By learning effective communication techniques, both parents and children can build stronger relationships that last a lifetime.
Keyphrase: counseling for young children
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