When my partner and I embarked on our romantic journey, we epitomized the ideal couple. Our connection was palpable; we thrived on togetherness, relishing even the simplest tasks—from grocery shopping to managing bills side by side. Our shared workouts, binge-watching TV shows, and exploring our new city post-college were filled with an abundance of “us” moments that could easily have overwhelmed our friends. Seriously, we were quite the sight.
The initial bliss continued even after our wedding. We created culinary masterpieces together and enjoyed leisurely evenings on our porch, often discussing the delightful chaos that kids would bring to our lives. Love was in the air, and we felt undeniably adorable.
Fast forward to the arrival of our first child, and while we made every effort to sustain that magical spark, reality set in. Let’s face it—there’s nothing remotely romantic about multitasking breast pumping while your partner munches breakfast nearby. After several years of marriage, it became evident that for us to navigate this lifelong commitment, I would need to embrace the fact that he could turn the bathroom into a disaster zone, and he would have to accept that my putting on a sports bra would never be a turn-on.
Seventeen years into our marriage, romance has morphed into a different kind of companionship. Although we no longer enjoy candlelit dinners every night, we still share a strong bond characterized by mutual understanding—like me binge-watching a series in bed while he snores louder than a jet engine.
While love remains alive, here are some signs that the initial excitement may have waned in your relationship as well:
- Your last New Year’s Eve celebration felt like a century ago (think Y2K).
- You’ve stopped trying to impress his family.
- Your holiday tree is brimming with gifts you purchased for yourself, and you are genuinely thrilled about those cozy fleece leggings.
- A new water heater for Valentine’s Day counts as romance.
- You’ve become familiar with the concept of courtesy flushes.
- You’ve gone to bed upset on more than one occasion—let’s say around 562 times.
- You no longer find humor in being called “Mrs.”
- You’ve contemplated hosting a “Replace the Broken Wedding Appliances” party for your upcoming anniversary.
- Forgetting flowers; the way to your heart is your partner unloading the dishwasher unprompted.
- “I’ll handle bedtime” has become your version of foreplay.
- You both exchange eye rolls when spotting young couples in public displays of affection.
- It’s been 15 years since you attended a wedding.
- “Dinner and a movie” has evolved into Netflix and takeout.
- Your underwear shopping now happens at Costco, and you couldn’t care less.
- Love notes have been traded for practical reminders like “Bring home milk or else.”
- When you call someone “Pooh Bear,” it refers to an actual stuffed toy.
- Your partner no longer jokes about inviting extra guests into your bed.
- “Clothing optional days” only apply to your toddler.
- You return from your daily run with just one coffee instead of two.
- He’s stopped pretending to notice your new highlights or outfit.
- You both engage in personal grooming without a hint of awkwardness.
- You give him disapproving looks when he attempts to join you in the shower—after all, it’s your one escape from the kids.
- Candles are only lit when the power goes out or when he’s turned the bathroom into a no-go zone.
I no longer desire grand romantic gestures as I once did in my twenties. Today, I find satisfaction in seeing laundry reach the basket and dishes find their way into the dishwasher. Though I occasionally miss unexpected flowers, what I truly appreciate is the authenticity of our relationship—one where he embraces all aspects of me, good and bad. He still looks at me with affection, even when I’m lounging in those holiday leggings he gifted me.
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Summary
The early days of romance often fade into a more practical and familiar relationship characterized by shared responsibilities and the acceptance of each other’s quirks. Instead of grand gestures, couples often find joy in everyday acts of love and companionship.
Keyphrase: signs the honeymoon is over
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