As my high school senior prepares to embark on his college journey, I find myself reflecting on my approach to parenting. For years, I’ve embraced a strategy I like to call Denial—where I assumed my sweet boy would remain untouched by the temptations of girls, substances, or alcohol. However, as he gets ready to step onto the lively campus of Big U, I’ve realized that perhaps Denial has its limits.
So, just in case my optimistic outlook doesn’t hold up, I’ve started to share some candid advice about responsible drinking. Occasionally, while listening to NPR, I find myself bursting out with reminders about the dangers of substance use: “Never, ever try heroin! It could take your life right away!”
With my son now headed to a party-centric college, I felt the need to compile a list of crucial tips. I’m planning to interject these pearls of wisdom into our conversations, with a serious look over the top of my glasses for added effect. Here’s how I envision our exchanges might go:
Son: Is there anything to drink around here?
Me: You know you don’t have to drink just because everyone else is, right?
Son: Seriously?
Me: Stick together with your friends. Arrive together, leave together—no one should be left behind.
Son: Fine.
Me: And for goodness’ sake, don’t accept drinks from strangers. Always pour your own!
Son: Why do you care so much?
Me: Just remember, shots can mess with your ability to say “no.”
Son: Did you hear that on NPR again?
Me: Make it a rule to never be the most intoxicated person in the room.
Son: Who are you even talking to?
Me: If you think twerking sounds like a good idea, it’s time to rethink your choices.
Son: Can we not do this?
Me: When the atmosphere shifts from fun to sad, it’s time to call it a night.
Son: Ugh, Mom!
Me: If either of you is in a bad state, don’t complicate things further. Clear thinking is key when it comes to intimate decisions.
Son: Seriously?
Me: Same goes for tattoos—don’t make any rash decisions.
Son: Please stop!
Me: Never get in a car unless you’re completely sure your driver is sober.
Son: This is ridiculous.
Me: Use the crosswalk like I taught you!
Son: (stomps away)
Me: If you find yourself questioning whether to call 911, do it! It’s better to be safe than sorry—no one just sleeps off a death.
Son: (slams door)
Me: And remember, they call it a walk of shame for a reason. Clean up after yourself!
I’m starting to think this could become an entirely new parenting approach: Blurt Parenting. If it works out well, I might just write a book about it. If not, I’ll have to come up with another strategy for our middle schooler. Fingers crossed!
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In summary, as we navigate this new chapter, I hope my candid advice will guide him toward making wise choices while enjoying his college experience.
Keyphrase: responsible drinking advice for teens
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