My friend once remarked that cleaning your house while raising kids is like trying to tidy up during a tornado: utterly futile. She couldn’t have been more accurate. These days, tackling housework demands an abundance of patience, a bucketful of energy, a remarkably short memory (to promptly forget the chaos around you), a little chocolate (sweet bribery), some TV time (more bribery), and whatever toy has been on timeout for at least three days (a fleeting but effective distraction—until it ends up back in timeout).
Ready to dive in? Here’s your guide to cleaning your home in ten manageable steps:
Step 1:
Gather the little ones and make it crystal clear that any juice spills, sandwich throws at the dog, Lego explosions, or pillow cascades off the stairs will lead to dire consequences. You mean business!
Step 2:
Face the dishes. This chore easily ranks as one of the least enjoyable tasks at home. Instead of tossing them in the trash (just kidding!), scrub them as swiftly as you can—or load the dishwasher if you’re lucky enough to have one. Silently grumble about how your family has managed to create a mountain of dirty dishes since breakfast.
Step 3:
Time to tackle laundry. Honestly, I despise it. “Hate” doesn’t even begin to cover it. I find myself doing four loads daily. Skip the sorting; just cram as much as you can into the washing machine. You’re racing against the clock—the next kid-friendly distraction is just about to air!
Step 4:
Inform the kids that the TV is taking a nap and it’s lunchtime. They’ll be thrilled to help out, which of course means a delightful mess in the kitchen. Sigh quietly to yourself about the dishes you just cleaned. Is that sticky substance dripping down the counter? And why is the dog munching on your four-year-old’s plate? Sneak a piece of chocolate and brace yourself for what’s next.
Step 5:
While the kiddos are munching away, sprint through the kitchen to clean up the aftermath of their culinary endeavors. Don’t forget to change the trash in the bathroom, gather up wet towels and stray boxer shorts left by your partner (seriously, just a few feet from the hamper?!), and scrub the toilet. Toss in one of those blue tablets and flush. Get back to the kitchen in a hurry!
Step 6:
Yep, it’s time for another kitchen clean-up. Those sweet kids decided to turn the sink into a mini water park while “helping” with the dishes. Just lovely! Watch out for the small pond forming on the floor. Try not to slip—keep your cool; we still have vacuuming to do!
Step 7:
Let the kids know they can play outside once you finish, but in the meantime, more TV! Yes, I know, too much screen time. Pull out the vacuum, untangle the cord, and start making your way through the house while the kids are creating a ruckus in the background. Remember, you’re strong and capable!
Step 8:
Midway through vacuuming, the washing machine suddenly sounds like it’s auditioning for a monster movie. Dash to the laundry room, turn it off, and shake your head at yourself for overloading it. Rearrange the clothes to balance the load and restart it. Hurry back inside; the kids are in a tug-of-war over the remote, and the cat just left a surprise by the front door.
Step 9:
Pour yourself a glass of wine.
Step 10:
Forget about cleaning altogether! Head outside with the kids and let them expend their energy. Sit back, do nothing, and maybe check out Facebook. Oh look, there’s a new article about cleaning houses. Why not read that and treat yourself to a pizza for dinner?
So there you have it! Cleaning doesn’t have to be a mammoth task. Just follow these ten easy steps and your home can reflect that delightful “asteroid just struck” vibe. Next time someone comments on the challenges of cleaning with kids around, you can confidently say, “Not in my house!”
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Summary: Cleaning your home with kids around can feel chaotic, but with a little patience and humor, it can be manageable. Follow these ten straightforward steps to maintain a semblance of order while still enjoying your time with your little ones.
Keyphrase: cleaning your house with kids
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