Parenting
You’re Still a Fantastic Mom Even If…
By Laura Thompson
Updated: Jan. 21, 2016
Originally Published: April 6, 2011
When did modern parenting turn into a fierce competition? It seems like every day brings a new reason to feel inadequate, especially when a research study claims that something you’ve been doing since you saw those two pink lines is all wrong. Let’s take a breather! You’re putting in the effort, and the very fact that you’re reading this shows you’re a great mom, even if…
You didn’t have a “natural birth.”
Whether you gave birth in a serene tub using no medication or opted for an epidural like it was a free sample at a fair, the way your child enters the world doesn’t define your parenting skills. I’ve had two C-sections, and my twins spent a month in the NICU; they’re seven now, and we are incredibly close.
You stopped breastfeeding (or never started).
Maybe breastfeeding was a painful experience for you, or perhaps you didn’t try it at all. Or maybe you did for a little while but soon realized pumping at work was as feasible as hosting a last-minute dinner for royalty. Whatever your situation, remember that breastfeeding is not a prerequisite for being a good parent. In fact, new research suggests the benefits are often exaggerated. Go ahead and look it up!
You didn’t feel an instant connection with your baby.
You’re in the hospital, cradling your newborn, and instead of feeling overwhelmed with love, you’re thinking, “What do I do now?” That’s completely normal! Some moms don’t feel that deep bond until their child starts walking and talking. It’s not a fairy tale; it’s real life. (Note: If you’re feeling persistently detached or sad, please reach out to your doctor! It’s essential to address those feelings, but it doesn’t make you a bad mom.)
Your kids have tried fast food (just yesterday).
So you swung by a drive-thru after a hectic day because your kids were hungry, and cooking wasn’t an option. Fast food isn’t the healthiest choice, but it’s not going to ruin your kids forever. If you feel even a hint of guilt, that’s a sign you care! If you’re worried about something as trivial as a quick meal, you’re already doing great. Treat yourself to a shake next time!
You don’t have “family dinners” every night.
I’ve seen the studies that claim lack of family dinners can lead to all sorts of problems in your kids. Really? So just sitting at the table for chicken nuggets at 5:30 p.m. is the key to avoiding trouble? The truth is, what matters is spending time talking with your children every day. And yes, discussing the latest fart joke absolutely counts!
You allow your kids to quit activities.
How many extracurriculars is your child involved in already? If they want to drop soccer, let them! Forcing them to stick with something they don’t enjoy isn’t going to turn them into the next sports star. Letting them quit frees up time for both of you—more homework for them and more scrolling through social media for you!
Your child isn’t labeled “gifted.”
The term “gifted” is definitely trendy, but whether your child fits that label has nothing to do with your parenting. You can read to your baby in the womb and enroll them in the fanciest preschool, but the truth is, only 2% to 5% of kids are actually gifted. So go ahead and hug your average kid; they’re perfectly fine!
Feeling better? You’re doing a fantastic job, mom! Unless you’re one of those who lets her 5-year-old sip soda from a baby bottle. Then we might need to talk!
For more on navigating motherhood, check out our other blog posts, including this one about your couples fertility journey for intracervical insemination: Make a Mom. And for expert information, consider the resource offered by Healthline on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary: This article reminds mothers that they are doing a great job, regardless of how they gave birth, whether they breastfed, or if they engage in family dinners. It highlights the importance of empathy in parenting, encouraging moms to embrace their individual journeys without the pressure of societal expectations.
Keyphrase: You’re still a fantastic mom
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