Certain moments in life are forever engraved in our minds. January 28, 1986, the day the Challenger tragically exploded. A random evening in the fall of 1987, when I experienced my first real kiss. November 4, 2008, the day we made history by electing our first African American President. And then there was that summer day in 1995, when it hit me that my father was just a regular person.
The timing may vary for each individual, but the feelings of shock, awe, disappointment, and confusion are universal. They come together like a tightly wrapped gift when you finally understand that your parents are simply human beings, just like everyone else.
From the moment we enter this world, our parents are our entire universe. They cradle our tiny bodies and cater to our every whim. To us, they seem like superheroes, equipped with boundless wisdom and abilities, effortlessly answering our endless questions and managing the daily chaos around us.
When these seemingly invincible figures come crashing back down to earth, it can feel like our world is turned upside down.
I remember the day I first recognized that my dad was just a regular guy, like anyone else. I felt betrayed; he was my hero, and the realization that he could disappoint me was painful. As I matured, that bitterness faded, and I grew to appreciate this truth. Now, as a parent myself, I realize that nobody is truly prepared for the reality of raising children. The advice from books and friends pales in comparison to the real experience—it’s chaotic and tiring, and we carry our personal histories into parenthood.
I strive to be transparent with my kids. Maybe it’s because I’m a single mom with a life that’s often messy, or perhaps it’s my way of softening the blow of inevitable disappointments. I want them to see me for who I truly am. The more they recognize my humanity, the less dramatic my flaws seem.
I’m not just their mother; I’m a friend, a sibling, a writer, and a weekend warrior who loves to chill and indulge in good food. I get cranky when I’m hungry or when my partner runs late. I have my own aspirations and dreams yet to be fulfilled. Yet, above all, being their mom is the greatest joy of my life.
At the end of the day, though “mom” is my favorite title, I’m just a person navigating life with two kids. The sooner they grasp that reality, the better.
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