The internet is a curious place—it’s a mix of bizarre and delightful. Need a good deal on a trendy lipstick? The internet has you covered (hint: Ulta is always the answer). Want to know who plays Kevin on This Is Us? The internet can tell you (it’s Justin Hartley, also known as Hottie McHottypants). And if you’re dealing with stubborn permanent marker on your couch, you’ll find a solution involving dish soap, white vinegar, and possibly a little prayer.
While scrolling through one of these amusing searches, I stumbled upon a comprehensive guide detailing how frequently to clean various household items. I thought it might provide some useful insights or reassurance that I wasn’t completely neglecting my domestic duties. What a mistake! Sometimes, ignorance truly is bliss, and I was blissfully unaware in my comfortable chaos. This chart indicated that not only was I lagging behind in housecleaning, but I was failing miserably across the board.
For a brief moment, I felt terrible about myself until I realized that these extreme guidelines likely apply only to those without children or people who find solace in cleaning frenzies. I respect those individuals; however, I am definitely not one of them.
As the saying goes, cleaning with kids is like trying to brush your teeth while munching on Oreos. Personally, I prefer to savor my Oreos with a glass of wine. But I digress.
I wouldn’t classify myself as messy. I dislike clutter and keep a reasonably tidy home. Nevertheless, there’s no way I could adhere to these cleaning standards—and I bet most people would agree.
Let’s delve into this cleaning madness:
- Daily: Squeegee the shower walls and sweep the kitchen floors.
Squeegee the shower walls? I don’t even own one! Even if I did, I wouldn’t waste precious seconds of my shower time to squeegee the walls. My kids would just smear them with colorful soap anyway. As for sweeping the kitchen floors every day, that’s what pets are for. - Weekly: Change bedsheets, sanitize sponges, and dispose of unused food.
Change bedsheets weekly? Who actually does that? I’m thrilled if I remember to swap my sheets once a month; my kids’ sheets only get changed after an incident of stomach flu. Have you ever tried changing the bedding on a bunk bed? It’s a unique kind of hell, really. And whenever I finally manage to wash the sheets, I inevitably discover that I’ve left them in the washing machine when bedtime rolls around. - Monthly: Dust the blinds and clean out the inside of the washing machine.
Excuse me while I laugh out loud. - Every few months: Vacuum the mattress, descale the coffee machine, and clean the fireplace.
If I can’t remember to change the bedsheets more than once a month, there’s no way I’ll remember to vacuum the mattress. And descaling the coffee machine? I’m not even sure what that means.
However, I can proudly say I’m succeeding at one item on that list: our fireplace is spotless—mostly because we don’t even have one, which gives me more time to scour the internet for tips on parenting and other essential topics.
In conclusion, the cleaning standards found online often seem unreasonable for many households, especially those with children. The reality is that we all have different capacities for managing chores, and it’s essential to find a balance that works for you. If you’re exploring different family planning options, consider checking out this informative article and this excellent resource for further insights into pregnancy and home insemination.