As a parent, I often find myself pondering the societal definitions of “good” behavior in young children. My son, for instance, was often described as a “good” baby. He rarely fussed at night, had no colic, and was quick to smile. He was content to play alone and welcomed the affection of family and friends. While I appreciate these observations, I believe the term “easy” more accurately reflects his temperament than “good.”
Now that he has transitioned into the more spirited toddler phase, I’ve noticed he’s acquiring a few so-called “bad” habits. But are these really bad?
In our culture, toddler tantrums—such as those that erupt in the aisles of stores—are often deemed “bad.” It is commonly believed that either the child or the parent has failed when such outbursts occur. Yet, a glance at social media reveals that adults throw tantrums too, albeit in more socially acceptable forms. For example, adults express frustration over being called into work on their days off. Are we really that different?
Picky eating is another trait labeled as “bad.” While toddlers may not enjoy the variety of foods adults do, many adults also have their preferences and aversions. Similarly, adults experience impatience and frustration when forced to wait, just as toddlers do. The key difference is that adults have generally learned to manage their emotions more effectively—most of the time.
I have observed situations where toddlers are criticized for not wanting to hug someone or for avoiding eye contact. This seems unjust. Every adult routinely assesses the safety and friendliness of those around them. Children are no different; they are learning to navigate social interactions, and labeling their behavior as rude fails to acknowledge their developmental stage.
It is important to clarify: tantrums, pickiness, and frustration are not positive behaviors, but they are undoubtedly human responses. Toddlers may express their feelings in more disruptive ways, yet this stems from their limited social skills and understanding. They are unaware of the impact their behavior may have on their sleep-deprived parents or how hurtful certain comments can be.
Toddlers are young individuals striving to comprehend a complex world. Their ability to articulate feelings is still in its infancy, and when overwhelmed, they often resort to crying as their primary mode of communication.
As a parent, I aim to mitigate potential tantrums and resolve them swiftly when they occur. However, I will not punish my son for expressing his emotions or desires. If he chooses not to hug someone, that is his choice—it is his body. If he declines to eat certain foods, that is acceptable as well. After all, I have my dislikes too.
Raising a toddler demands considerable effort, and I won’t always succeed. This is not a period where children are inherently “bad.” Rather, it is a time for them to learn about social interactions, language, food preferences, consent, and emotional expression at a rapid pace.
They will test our patience, exhaust us, and push us to our limits, but their actions are not malicious. They are simply trying to make sense of life. Someday, we may look back on this chaotic yet beautiful stage and feel a sense of nostalgia.
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Summary
In conclusion, labeling toddlers as “bad” fails to acknowledge their developmental stage. They are learning to navigate their emotions and social interactions, often expressing themselves in ways that may frustrate adults. Instead of punitive measures, parents should focus on guiding their children through these challenges while recognizing that these behaviors are part of growing up.
Keyphrase: toddler behavior
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