In the early stages of parenthood, my partner and I made a bold decision: we would eliminate the phrase “be careful” from our vocabulary. We even attempted to extend this ban to our entire family, but it quickly became clear that this phrase is ingrained in the DNA of many grandparents and is nearly impossible to eradicate.
The turning point came after a chaotic day at the playground with our adventurous toddler, Max. At that age, he was pushing every boundary—leaping off slides, balancing on fences, and essentially turning himself into a human pinball, colliding with everything in his path. It was both exhausting to keep pace with him and even more tiring to repeatedly yell “be careful!” It felt like I had transformed overnight from a new parent to a safety monitor, constantly spouting cautionary phrases whenever he moved.
On that particular day, Max was a whirlwind of energy, and I felt the pressure to demonstrate my parental responsibility to onlookers. As I rattled off safety precautions, he seemed to ignore me entirely; to him, “be careful” might as well have meant “go bigger.” The phrase lost its meaning, becoming mere background noise that screamed, “I don’t trust you to understand your own limits.” Ironically, the truth was that I didn’t have full faith in his abilities, but I didn’t want him to sense my doubt. I wanted him to learn through experience, not through my incessant warnings.
Today’s youth are grappling with the consequences of a generation soaked in endless cautionary phrases. Parents hovering over their children, ensuring their every need is met, have inadvertently created a culture of anxiety where kids struggle to trust their instincts. “Be careful!” has become the battle cry of helicopter parenting, and I am no longer interested in that approach. I’ve canceled my subscription.
Endlessly shouting “be careful!” sends a clear message: I’m here to dictate your play, your fun, and your independence. It implies that you can’t think for yourself or make your own decisions about safety. I am the authority, and you are just the small human who needs guidance.
Instead of filling the air with vague warnings, why not communicate directly? Say things like, “Don’t touch that hot pan,” or “Think about how far you are jumping.” Sometimes, it’s even okay to say nothing at all. Imagine going to the playground without offering a single piece of advice (unless it involves serious dangers). Initially, it might feel impossible, especially as your child leaps into the fun, but the freedom this approach offers can be exhilarating—for both you and them.
Yes, there’s a chance they might stumble and even get hurt, but they may also soar and accomplish something incredible. You won’t know until you stop insisting they “be careful” at every turn. For more insights on parenting and personal growth, check out this excellent resource on this topic. And if you’re looking for ways to boost fertility, don’t miss our blog post on boosting fertility supplements.