I’m not the parent who spends hours on the floor engaging in imaginative play with your toys or constructing elaborate worlds in video games. I don’t know the ins and outs of Pokémon, and honestly, I probably never will. I acknowledge that I may fall short in certain areas of parenting.
However, I appreciate my partner, who thrives in playing video games and watching cartoons with our children. I find joy in watching them play catch outside (definitely not indoors—let’s avoid any broken lamps!), and I chuckle at their joyful antics during playtime.
I was once a young mother, filled with trepidation but resolute in my desire to welcome you into this world and shower you with love. I was a single mom working long hours, yet I still made time for dance parties with my two boys, where we belted out tunes and laughed together. Even before your arrival, I indulged in cherry cheesecake just to catch a glimpse of you dancing (and, of course, because it’s cheesecake).
When I first laid eyes on you, I knew you would hold my heart forever. Three times, I welcomed new little ones into my life, and each time my heart expanded to embrace you all. As a new mom, I was the one who couldn’t sleep for staring at you, feeling you nestled on my chest. Even now, when I see you sleeping, I remember you as that tiny bundle in footed pajamas, with wispy hair and dark lashes against your flawless skin.
I was the mom who rocked you through the night, comforting you when you cried. I was the mom who fretted over every scrape and bump, who kissed your boo-boos, and spent countless hours waiting for casts or bandages. I was the mom who held you tightly during preschool tours, and the one who pursued online education so I could be home with you.
I’m the mom who signs school notes, checks your homework, and packs your lunches. I’m the one who manages doctor and dentist appointments, along with parent-teacher meetings. I’m also the mom who often wears thrifted clothes to ensure you have trendy outfits for school.
I’m the one who tells corny jokes, sings out of tune, and acts goofy just to see you smile. Those smiles are worth more to me than anything else in the world. My love for you is immense, deeper than I can articulate, and I strive to express that love every day.
Yet, despite all this, I often feel like I’m not doing enough.
I am a parent living with chronic depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I deal with frequent migraines and ongoing pain. I see more doctors than I have haircuts (seriously, I can’t recall the last time I visited a stylist). Every day is a struggle to complete the necessary tasks to give you a “normal” life. I handle your laundry, even if it means I have to sit while sorting it. I ensure bills are paid so you can have warm showers, clip your nails, and remind you to maintain good hygiene.
I’m also the one who forgets little details—like the number of touchdowns you scored in your last video game. But I can always tell when something is bothering you. I’m here to listen when you’re upset, happy, or excited, even if I don’t remember the names of your favorite characters or recent sports stats.
I want to be the one who fights off all your fears and protects you from harm. Yet, there are days when my pain makes it hard to even prepare dinner. I’m the mom who sometimes resorts to serving too much macaroni and pizza rolls. I’m the mom with mountains of clean laundry on the couch because my body aches too much to fold it. I tend to feel overwhelmed and occasionally need to step away when things get too intense. I’m the one who sheds tears in the bathroom when I feel I’ve let you down.
I’m the mom who lies awake at night worrying about you. I cherish every hug and “I love you” you give me, saving them for days when I need that warmth the most. You are the light in my life, and although I may not be the parent you envision, I strive every day to be the one you deserve.
For more information and resources on home insemination, consider visiting Make A Mom. They provide excellent products like the BabyMaker At-Home Insemination Kit that can help you on your journey. Additionally, NHS offers valuable insights about intrauterine insemination, which can be helpful in understanding various methods of conception.
In summary, being a parent is a challenging journey filled with love, struggles, and a commitment to providing the best for our children. Even amidst the challenges, the bond we share keeps us striving to be better.
Keyphrase: parenting struggles and love
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