Dear Child,
Today was not a day where I excelled as a parent. The morning arrived far too quickly after a restless night. I managed to get dressed an hour before your usual wake-up time. When I entered your room, you were eager for my attention, your hair messy and your smile charmingly askew. “I up!” you declared, reaching out for me. “I pay wif toys!”
I didn’t respond with a smile, not because I don’t adore you, but because I desperately craved more sleep. As the day unfolded, you began sticking stickers on the couch, and I muttered under my breath in frustration. You attempted to play tag, accidentally kicking me in the chest, and I found myself shouting, “BE NICE TO MOM!” In that moment, I was not just directing my frustration at you; I was expressing my feelings toward the world around me. But how could you understand that? You couldn’t, and for that, I apologize.
When I went upstairs to use the bathroom, you protested, “NO MAM GO PODDY!” and my response was far from patient: “Shut up!” It was not my finest moment as a parent.
I’m sorry for tearing up when you devoured my lunch—the lunch I had bought for both of us to satisfy my own emotions. I needed those chicken nuggets, but apparently, so did you. I regret putting you in timeout when you made your plate dance on the table. I wish I had kissed you goodnight instead of retreating to the guest room, seeking solitude and silence.
I remember my own mother having days like this, when she seemed on the verge of something overwhelming, and we tiptoed around her, convinced it was our fault. I want you to know this is not about you. It’s never about you.
What you see is my heart aching for reasons beyond your understanding. I promise to do better tomorrow, after a little caffeine, a crime drama, and some sleep. Being a parent entails many responsibilities, including sacrificing my own desires for the sake of your well-being. It makes me a better person, yet it’s incredibly challenging when exhaustion weighs heavily on me. You don’t need to grasp this yet; when the time comes, you will.
As I hear you stirring from your nap, singing Taylor Swift and exclaiming “Neber, eber, EBER!” followed by something about a rubber ducky, I realize it’s time to be present. We’ll indulge in fruit snacks, read books, and return those stickers to the couch.
Tomorrow, I will strive to be better.
With love,
Your Mom
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Summary
This letter reflects the challenges and emotions of parenting, highlighting the author’s struggles and the desire to improve for their child. It emphasizes that difficult days are part of the journey and reassures the child that their worth is never in question.
Keyphrase: parenting challenges
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