By: Sarah Thompson
Updated: Feb. 24, 2021
Originally Published: July 2, 2015
In the world of parenting, it often seems that moms receive a less-than-favorable reputation. Dads frequently take on the role of the “fun parent,” engaging in activities like tickling, wrestling, and tossing around balls, while moms like me find themselves in the background, cleaning up the aftermath of these playful encounters. I’ve even jokingly dubbed my husband “Fun Dad,” using sarcasm to highlight the disparity in our roles.
“It’s not fair,” I lament. “I’m the one responsible for meals, playdates, and appointments, tirelessly working to ensure our children enjoy a happy upbringing. Then, you come along with your silly jokes and fun games while I’m left to manage the chaos behind the scenes. Ugh, Fun Dad!”
In return, he affectionately calls me “The Taskmaster.” Initially, this would put me on the defensive. I’d channel my inner Jack Nicholson from A Few Good Men, reminding him of the importance of manners and the weight of my responsibilities. “You need me on that wall,” I’d declare, emphasizing that I have neither the time nor the desire to justify my role to someone who plays under the freedom I provide.
However, a recent comment from him struck a nerve. As I was once again directing the kids to clean up after dinner, he remarked, “This is what they will remember about you: barking orders.” Ouch. Was that really how they would view me? If so, that’s disheartening.
It’s not that I don’t also partake in fun activities with my children. I plan surprise outings, take them to the movies, and even created an elaborate birthday scavenger hunt that left my son ecstatic. Yet it seems that my daily responsibilities overshadow these joyful moments, and I often find myself reminding everyone, “Fun exists here too! I’m just as entertaining as any other mom.” Or am I?
Recently, a younger mother I know shared her plans for the last day of school. Her idea? An epic ambush with silly string for the fifth graders and water balloons for the little ones. “That sounds like such fun,” I said, genuinely impressed. But I also marveled at her energy. The thought of prepping those water balloons felt overwhelmingly daunting, especially since my own life has become a whirlwind of obligations.
Discussing this with a friend, I confessed, “I wish I could come up with fun ideas like that. But with everything I already handle, those extra special moments rarely cross my mind.” “I’m just not that kind of mom,” my friend echoed. The idea of cutting sandwiches into shapes or hosting spontaneous fort sleepovers feels like yet another task on an already impossible list.
Instead, my plan for the last day of school was simply to arrive on time to pick them up. If they were bogged down with bags, I might even offer to help carry their burdens. Then, just as I was settling into my routine, that fun-loving mom texted me: “MEET US AT THE FIELD ON THE SIDE OF THE SCHOOL. BRING WATER GUNS.”
Water guns? I could manage that. It seemed much simpler than tying off a hundred water balloons. When the bell rang and the twins approached me, loaded with school supplies, I lied about my car being in a different lot and led them to the field where the fun awaited. Along with other parents, we unleashed a water battle that was every bit as exhilarating as it sounds. It was a simple shift in mindset that made all the difference.
Now that summer break has kicked off with so much excitement, I wonder how I can maintain this fun momentum. Juggling work and chores while preventing sibling squabbles seems daunting, but perhaps not every day needs to be a chore. I’ve taken my parenting role far too seriously, which is quite absurd since I can’t exactly be fired from it. I’ve tried to resign, but no luck there. So, it’s time for this Taskmaster to embrace a lighter approach.
By introducing more spontaneity and laughter into our lives, I might just transform into “Mommy Fun” in the eyes of my children. After all, perception is partly about how we market ourselves. And if the house becomes a bit messy or we end up with ice cream for dinner, so what? My kids certainly won’t mind. Domestic duties often bring me down anyway. Maybe I just need one of those signs I’ve seen online: “Please excuse the mess. We are busy making memories.” That sounds infinitely more enjoyable than vacuuming.
This article originally appeared on July 2, 2015. For more insights on family life and parenting, visit our other blog posts like this one about at-home insemination kits which can provide helpful information for those on their parenting journey. For more about enhancing fertility, check out this resource on fertility boosters for men that is a trusted authority on the subject. Additionally, for comprehensive guidance on pregnancy, Healthline offers excellent information.
Summary:
In the quest to balance responsibilities and fun in parenting, it can be easy to label oneself as the less-fun parent. By embracing spontaneity and joy, we can transform our children’s perception and share memorable experiences, even amidst daily chores and obligations.
Keyphrase: Fun parenting
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