As the local youth baseball and softball season kicks off, we had every intention of enrolling our kids. However, before we even had a chance to visit the registration page, the deadline had passed. It hit me hard this past week as I encountered numerous families whose children were actively participating in these activities. Suddenly, we felt like the odd ones out.
In fact, I suspect our children are engaging in the fewest extracurricular activities compared to others in our community. Just a few weeks ago, our 3-year-old embarked on his first structured class—gymnastics. Our 6-year-old has dabbled in various activities, including dance, swimming, gymnastics, and ice skating, while our 8-year-old has tried dance, swimming, and soccer before wholeheartedly committing to gymnastics. This year, we also enrolled both girls in Girl Scouts. So right now, each child has one gymnastics class per week, and the girls attend 1-2 Girl Scout meetings monthly. That’s the extent of it.
No musical instruments. No foreign language courses. No math tutoring. No art or drama classes. No spring soccer. No baseball.
To be candid, the reasons behind our decision boil down to three factors: time, money, and a touch of selfishness. We aren’t ready to overhaul our weeknight routines, which currently allow for family dinners and early bedtimes. We want to avoid spending our weekends shuttling between activities, often dividing our attention as my partner and I juggle parenting duties. Additionally, we’re not prepared to allocate more of our budget toward extracurriculars; full-time daycare and summer camps already stretch our finances, leaving little room for additional expenses if we hope to enjoy family trips occasionally.
Yet, it seems every family we know—friends, neighbors, you name it—has their kids involved in more activities than we do. This leads to a nagging concern that our reluctance to prioritize extracurriculars might deny our children valuable experiences and enrichment. However, I also fear that once we dive into a busier schedule, there’s no turning back. It feels like we’re delaying the inevitable, striving to maintain a sense of calm and simplicity in our family life for just a bit longer.
One of the highlights of our evenings is family dinner time. While some nights are filled with complaints about the food, other evenings reveal insights into our children’s lives that we might have missed otherwise. On weekends, my partner and I strive to carve out personal time for ourselves, whether it’s a quick run for me or a visit to a comic book store for him. These little moments help us recharge.
Every parent grapples with the fear of not adequately preparing their kids for the future. This anxiety lingers in my mind, even as I justify our current choices. What if our kids aren’t as fulfilled or well-rounded? They seem fine, but what if there’s something crucial I’m overlooking?
Interestingly, our 8-year-old has recently expressed interest in joining the gymnastics team, which would entail multiple lengthy practices each week and weekend competitions, not to mention a significant financial commitment. While I’m incredibly proud of her passion and talent, I want to hold off just a little longer. For now, I’m opting out of this aspect of parenting.
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In summary, while many families are deeply involved in extracurricular activities, we are choosing a different path for now, prioritizing our family’s needs for time and financial stability.