It’s a serene Monday afternoon at 2:00 PM, and my home is engulfed in a peaceful silence. My eldest children are engaged at school, my little one is peacefully napping, and my five-year-old? He’s happily at an in-home daycare. Why do I opt for babysitting? Simply put, I do it so I can relish some uninterrupted relaxation time.
Some might label this behavior as laziness or self-indulgence, but for me, it’s a practical decision. Take today, for instance. I indulged in an episode of a talk show, completely immersing myself in the lively debates among the hosts without any interruptions from a child requesting a snack or needing their diaper changed. I prepared a delicious lunch—grilled cheese and Brussels sprouts—and savored every bite while it was still hot, something that rarely happens in the chaos of motherhood. I brewed fresh coffee and treated myself to some chocolate before diving into creating this week’s newsletter.
On certain days, I dedicate my time to writing, while on others, I might call a friend, soak my feet in warm water, or get lost in a good book. Occasionally, I binge-watch shows that are definitely not meant for a younger audience. What I consciously avoid during this precious time are chores like washing dishes, sorting laundry, or grocery shopping. My focus is solely on doing what I want, when I want, and enjoying it without guilt.
I recognize that this privilege comes at a cost. I don’t take this downtime for granted. It’s a necessity for me. Over the past twelve years, I have faced significant medical challenges. The first occurred when I was struck by unexplained illness, leading to dramatic weight loss and severe fatigue. After a visit to the ER, I learned my blood sugar levels were dangerously high, putting me in diabetic ketoacidosis—a life-threatening condition. The second health scare came last summer when I found a lump in my breast. Though initial tests seemed normal, further investigation revealed breast cancer, resulting in a bilateral mastectomy and a lengthy recovery.
Both experiences were harrowing and have left lasting impacts on my life. I now rely on an insulin pump and will undergo regular monitoring for potential cancer recurrence for at least the next decade. Add anxiety to the mix, and it’s been a challenging journey.
Medical trauma often lingers long after physical healing. While my body has recovered, the emotional and mental scars remain. The downtime I’ve carved out for myself has allowed me the necessary space to relax and recharge. It’s a chance for me to think or simply zone out.
Sometimes I question whether I’m being unreasonable. Others are working hard while I catch up on my favorite show. I know other families are struggling, and here I am, spending money on babysitting for my child who could be home with me. But then I remember the toll that neglecting self-care can take on a person. I reflect on my experiences and the healing I still need. I remind myself that I work diligently to care for my family and contribute to society through my writing. I am a devoted partner and friend.
What resonates most with me is this: I can’t pour from an empty cup. If a few hours each week to do nothing is what I need to maintain my well-being, then that’s exactly what I will do. Perhaps true strength lies in recognizing one’s needs and taking action to fulfill them. No matter what challenges you face or what phase of life you are in, it’s crucial to identify what you need to not just survive but to truly thrive. When you have the courage to prioritize self-care, you are making a wise choice.
For more insights on topics related to family planning, be sure to check out our post on in-home insemination kits, a valuable resource for growing your family. You can also visit WebMD for more information on the success of various home insemination methods.
In summary, taking time for oneself is essential for overall well-being and should never be deemed selfish. Embrace the opportunity to recharge and pursue what brings you joy.