Parenting
How do you manage it all? This is a frequent question, and the answer often surprises people: “I don’t believe in balance.” Why put on an act? Balance is a myth. At least for me, it feels like a game of smoke and mirrors as I try to accomplish everything as quickly and efficiently as possible—while attempting to maintain my sanity.
Let me illustrate: It’s my first day at a new job with a major client—my first engagement after welcoming my nine-week-old daughter into the world. I walk into the office with my game face on: calm, confident, and looking like I have everything under control. Who has three kids? Not me. Today, I’m a corporate powerhouse, not just a mom. This used to give me imposter syndrome, but after five years, I’ve learned to fake it, and I’m starting to buy into my own act.
That morning, everything seems to be falling into place. I wake the kids, get everyone ready, and we head out the door for school. Two kids down, one to go. As I pull into my son’s school parking lot, he suddenly vomits. A lot. Thankfully, it misses me in the front seat but covers all three car seats in the back.
Stay calm, I remind myself. Then reality hits: I have just one hour to arrive at my new job. Panic sets in. Oh no! I was so close.
I find myself praying to whoever might be listening—job fairies, angels, or gods—to let this day unfold smoothly. Miraculously, my mom is available to help (which is a rarity). Fast forward through the chaos of distracted driving, tossing out the barf-covered car seats, wiping the sweat off my brow, borrowing a shirt, and racing toward my new job with windows down and the AC blasting to keep the stench at bay.
Somehow, I arrive at my new workplace with five minutes to spare.
I greet my new colleagues with a smile while sneaking texts from the women’s restroom to check on my little guy. As I focus on office orientation and pretend to be excited about a new project, an undercurrent of guilt gnaws at me for leaving my son when he needs me the most—putting work ahead of family yet again. But I push through, maintaining my façade, because the expectation is to make it all look effortless.
Smoke and mirrors are a must-have skill for working moms.
That’s the reality of smoke and mirrors—it’s an unspoken requirement for working mothers, especially those aspiring for career advancement. We must appear to handle the chaos seamlessly and get everything done. Yet, behind the curtain, it’s a whirlwind of challenges. Is it worth it? Absolutely, if you want to pursue both a career and a family. But is it easy? Not at all. It’s far more complex than it seems.
Here’s to all the working moms out there: to the hustle, to embracing the chaos, to striving to be good parents while often feeling inadequate. Here’s to doing our best to juggle it all—diapers, deadlines, takeout, and sick days. Here’s to the rockstar working moms navigating this beautiful mess. Here’s to the smoke and mirrors.
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