Recently, a family member reached out to ask about the latest toys my children are enjoying. I paused for a moment, then confessed, “My kids don’t really play with toys anymore.”
Internally, I was feeling frantic (Please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t buy more toys for my kids). Our home resembles a scene from a reality show about hoarding—specifically, toys. If I have to find space for just one more toy, I might just lose it, starting with the pile of neglected action figures and plastic trinkets I trip over at night.
The toys that no one plays with, of course.
The relative on the other end of the line seemed taken aback, even a bit frustrated that I wouldn’t provide any suggestions for gifts. Do my kids like toys? Well, maybe for a few days—but do they actually play with them? Not so much.
We do have a handful of favorites, like Legos, light sabers, and a plethora of dress-up costumes. However, my kids would rather engage in screen time, bounce on the trampoline, or hang out with friends in the neighborhood. At ages 10, 8, and 5, they seldom spend time in their rooms tinkering with their overflowing collection of toys.
So, please, don’t add to the chaos by purchasing more toys. I’m genuinely pleading with you.
I often spend hours sorting through toy bins to declutter and donate items. My kids hardly notice their absence. They might protest briefly, but I’ve never heard them lament, “I really miss that green squishy dinosaur I received in 2010 from Aunt Linda.”
It seems that previous generations struggle to grasp the notion that children don’t need as many toys as they believe. They need toys like I need a trip to the grocery store with my three kids on a Saturday—meaning not at all.
I think back to the years my mother held onto our Barbies, hoping to pass them down. Do I feel nostalgic about my childhood toys? Occasionally, when I see one of those nostalgic Buzzfeed articles showcasing toys from the past. But do I wish I still owned them? Not really.
I do worry that my children might one day resent me for donating items like the massive toy truck they begged for while I was shopping for clothes at a discount store. For an entire week, my youngest son talked about that truck as if it were the key to his happiness. I ended up buying it when he wasn’t around and saved it for Christmas. After he opened it, he showed the expected excitement typical of a 4-year-old, and now I find myself cursing that enormous truck which now just takes up space in our already stuffed toy box.
It’s merely gathering dust.
When I hear them say, “I’m bored,” I try to remind them of those toys they once couldn’t live without. “Why don’t you play with your tow truck?” I suggest, only to be met with blank stares as they struggle to recall which toy I’m referring to. “The one from Santa last year?” Nothing. “The cool one with the crane?” Finally, a flicker of recognition as he replies, “No, I don’t like that truck anymore.” I’m reminded once again of why kids can be so perplexing.
But they’re not truly the problem—they’re just absorbing the message from the adults around them that accumulating toys (or material possessions) is the goal. Frankly, I’m tired of perpetuating that myth. I’m also tired of my home resembling a giant landfill of forgotten toys.
It’s not a whimsical adventure when they go to sleep at night. Instead, it’s a horror show filled with broken toys, baby dolls with defaced faces, and action figures missing limbs.
So, please, refrain from gifting my children any more toys. No matter how wonderful you think it is, they won’t be filled with fond memories every time they see it. They’re kids, and they already have more than enough to reflect on.
Instead, let me offer a better idea: Spend quality time with them. Take them for ice cream, visit the zoo, or enjoy a day at the local park. I assure you, they’ll cherish those experiences far more than any toy.
If you really want to give them something tangible, consider gifting a book that you loved as a child. Write a personal memory about that book in the front cover, then read it together after they unwrap it. You can never have too many books.
Encourage them to explore through experiences. My children adore trips to the zoo, museums, and community classes. Support their interests by helping them discover the world rather than accumulating more items. Bonus points if you join them in the activity! If that’s not possible, I’ll make sure they remember who generously funded that art class, and they will appreciate your thoughtful gesture.
When you think about it, none of us truly need more “stuff.” Yes, there are many in need, but my children aren’t among them. I’m actively trying to instill in them an appreciation for their blessings, but that’s challenging when they’re constantly inundated with toys from well-meaning relatives.
So, please, stop indulging my kids with the latest gadget or flashy trinket in hopes of creating a bond. It won’t work.
I promise that if you invest time in my children, you will strengthen that connection. Watch them as they frolic outside or take them to an art class—because I’m not about to buy a bigger home just to accommodate one more oversized toy that will be forgotten within a week.
In summary, instead of gifting toys, prioritize spending time and creating meaningful experiences with children. This will foster deeper connections and memories that outlast any toy.