In the past year, many of my friends have either become pregnant or welcomed new arrivals, with several being first-time Black mothers. While I shared my heartfelt congratulations and a supportive “Welcome to the club” message, I couldn’t shake the underlying nerves I felt for them. The journey of Black motherhood is filled with unique challenges, yet the support often falls short in preparing us for the realities that come with bringing a new life into the world.
Dear new Black moms, I want to uplift and inform you about the distinct obstacles you may encounter as you embark on this path. Here are four essential points to keep in mind as you navigate this beautiful yet complex journey.
Prioritize Your Well-Being
Welcoming your little one is just the beginning; the real work is only starting. Black mothers and infants face the highest rates of mortality shortly after birth, which underscores the importance of prioritizing your health — physical, mental, and spiritual. Unfortunately, institutional racism can often limit access to quality healthcare, making it vital for Black mothers to advocate for themselves.
Engaging in regular exercise can serve as a form of self-care. It’s equally essential to focus on nutrition and hydration, and consider breastfeeding, which has numerous benefits for both mother and child. You might be the first in your family to adopt these practices, and while it may provoke some resistance, remember that it’s okay to deviate from tradition for your and your baby’s well-being.
Reassess Traditions
Black Americans have cultivated a rich tapestry of customs and norms despite the loss of ancestral connections. Part of effective parenting is discerning which traditions are beneficial and which may need to be left behind. Cultural narratives often emphasize authoritative parenting, but if you find yourself leaning towards a more nurturing, “crunchy mom” approach, embrace it. Don’t let anyone convince you that you’re spoiling your child. Our kids need active, engaged love and support; the old tough-love methods may no longer serve them.
Everyone will have their opinions, but ultimately, the decisions are yours to make.
Be Your Child’s Advocate
From the moment they enter the world, Black children face unique risks, including premature birth and infant mortality. Their lives may also be marked by challenges in education and health, and they rarely receive the same presumption of innocence as their peers. As a Black mother, you will need to be vigilant and proactive in advocating for your child.
This doesn’t mean believing your child is flawless but understanding their normal behaviors and standing up for them when needed, whether in school, at the park, or even among family members. Show your child that you will not allow societal stereotypes to define their potential.
Build a Support Network
Motherhood can be overwhelming, and the mental toll can be heavy. It’s crucial to establish a reliable support system. Even if your support network isn’t physically close, having accessible connections is essential. The internet offers fantastic opportunities to connect with other mothers around the globe, so take advantage of those resources.
Sometimes, you may need professional help due to postpartum depression, anxiety, or the cumulative stress of being Black in America—often referred to as toxic stress. Being aware of signs like persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities, or irritability can be lifesaving. Don’t shy away from seeking help. Overcoming the stigma surrounding mental health issues in the Black community is a vital step toward becoming the best parent you can be.
The journey of Black motherhood is filled with valuable lessons, featuring soaring highs and profound lows. Navigating parenting amidst the realities of sexism and racism can be daunting, but remember that you carry a legacy of resilience. We have always been survivors. So go forth and cherish every moment with your baby.
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Summary
This article aims to empower new Black mothers by highlighting the unique challenges they face and offering crucial advice on prioritizing health, navigating traditions, advocating for their children, and building a supportive community. It emphasizes the importance of self-care and resilience throughout the motherhood journey.