As the cold grips us well into spring, I find myself on the verge of losing it. The Minnesota winter seems endless, and I can almost hear the collective prayers for a reprieve from April snowstorms. This time of year brings a host of challenges—depression, seasonal affective disorder, anxiety—it’s all there, knocking at the door.
When the demands of motherhood, marriage, mental health, and well-being weigh down on me, my thoughts tend to spiral. I’ve realized that I must take control of my thinking. I actively work to redirect my focus from negativity to positivity—holding those darker thoughts captive and replacing them with brighter ones. It’s not just a coping mechanism; it’s a matter of survival.
Let me clarify: my partner’s emotional support and humor have played a crucial role in my journey toward sobriety, mental stability, and overall health. But let’s be real—men and women think differently. My husband, for example, can often be found lost in silence, whether in the bathroom or the car, staring into space. What could possibly occupy his mind for so long?
When I asked him once what he was thinking during one of those quiet moments, his answer shocked me: “Pots.” Yes, pots. For camping. He rambled about it for ten minutes, and I could almost hear circus music playing in the background of his thoughts. How I wish I could experience a day in his mind—a mental getaway, if you will.
In stark contrast, my mind races with an endless stream of thoughts. During that same silence, I was grappling with questions like: Why is the news so grim? Are we facing an apocalyptic scenario? What about those tragic images of children washed ashore from war-torn countries? Did I take my medication today? When was my last shower? I feel so unkempt. How can we afford another root canal? Why is there so much suffering in the world? Am I a good mom? I fed the kids Pop-Tarts for lunch—what kind of mother does that?
Sweet mercy, it’s exhausting. The reality is that men can often think about nothing, while women multitask their thoughts across a million topics at once.
My husband was astonished by the depth of my mental chaos, but I was not surprised. This is just a glimpse into my everyday mental grind. But then, something beautiful happened—a moment of laughter over the absurdity of it all. We laughed until our stomachs hurt, and in that moment, I felt a surge of freedom.
These moments of levity have become my lifeline. They allow me to recognize the misleading narratives playing in my head that need to be replaced with more empowering ones. Instead of dwelling on negativity, I write or reflect on the wonderful times my family has shared while camping or exploring new places. I consciously steer my thoughts toward gratitude for my husband’s unconditional love.
Imagine your thoughts as a tape reel—often, the same repetitive themes emerge. The trick is to hit rewind and record over those old tapes with something fresh and uplifting.
Just the other night, when my thoughts were particularly turbulent, I decided to create a list of quirky topics that make no sense to me. It was a humorous diversion from the chaos of the world.
Here’s a snippet of my list:
- Toe rings. Why do they exist?
- The Kardashians. Please, just stop.
- Decaf coffee. Is that even coffee?
- Mondays. They won’t exist in heaven.
- Clowns. Seriously, why?
- Milk that doesn’t need refrigeration. How does that even work?
- And many more.
I also asked several women to share their own bewildering thoughts, and the responses were both hilarious and relatable. Here are some favorites:
- Judgmental people. Just go away.
- Seasonal Affective Disorder. It’s a real challenge.
- Fidget spinners. Why?
- The perplexing nature of aliens. Do they even have teeth?
What about you? What random thoughts or phenomena do you find nonsensical? Sometimes, a little distraction is all we need.
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In summary, while our minds may be set on a whirlwind of thoughts, we can always choose to redirect our focus and find humor in the absurdity of life.